Iommic Pope wrote:I am now seriously having to consider selling all my remaining gear to make rental bond.
I may as well give up on music at this point, I never have any fucking time for it anyway.
And that will be the last of my dreams to have died.
I actually asked myself today how it was I survived the accident and what the fuck for?
Instead of finding a new found appreciation for life it's just gotten shittier since then and most days, for most of the day, I think about killing myself, only to go to bed, not sleep,band continue to think about it.
Shit is FANTASTIC.
Sorry dude. I know it might not feel too encouraging right now but even though everything is piling up, it doesn't mean it'll be this way forever. Think of all the professional athletes, artists, muscians, etc that had similar shit ahppen to them. They went through periods of time (months, even years...) where they couldn't do the things they loved but eventually came back. Frank Frazetta had a fucking stroke and then decided "fuck it, I'll teach myself to draw with my left hand." One of my favorite people in the world, Alejandro Jodorowski, says, "there is no failure, only a change of direction." Things suck right now but just take it one step at a time and in the future you'll get back to where you need to be. Take care of the minutes, and the hours will take care of themselves....

I had a shit winter and and slightly less shitty spring. Things are
okayyy right now. I got a gig at a big art show, was stoked... the catch being that I had to sell some tickets to it. I figured, "I know 20 people for sure, no problem." I have one week left and only sold 7. I have to pay for the rest myself, that's part of the deal. It's very disheartening to not only be trying so hard to rehab my drawing abilities, but also to have so many people who're my "Friends" not get my back when I thought they would. IF anything, it's taught me not to get into these kinds of deals. With any luck, I'll be able to sell something and break even, and maybe get some exposure.

Frustrating.