dubkitty wrote: i think i've been paralyzed so long that i can't get unstuck.
I think people tend to live their lives in patterns and habits, and since it's been such rough going for you, it's like your unconscious is expecting things to go sour again. Just try your best to tell it to shut the fuck up and stick to your plan. Try not to allow your dread to get the better of your actions so you don't end up with self-fulfilling prophecies. It sounds like you found a pretty decent gig, so focus on that, and not on the past. Just my two cents

fishtankdork wrote:
ugh. most horrible diner ever, as shes holding my hand, telling me how much she cares about me, and how she wants to remain a big part of my life as a friend. and that i have to prove myself to be with her again. wtf is that shit. duo-sonic 2 i think ur right. to the bar by myself again.
I more or less agree with what everyone else said. I just lost my girlfriend over the weekend, and when she came to my place to tell me what was going on, I told her straight-up, "I cannot and will not do an on-off relationship. You have to decide, and you're only getting one chance." The next day I spent all day realizing all the reasons that it would be better for us to split up, one of the reasons being that I wasn't seeing enough of her, and on top of that, she said that "she might need more time to herself" (even though we live in separate cities......). I realized that it was too much emotional stress for me, and a relationship shouldn't be like that.
So yeah, it's probably best for you to tell your ex that it's time to move on. And this is just my opinion/two cents/whatever, but I wouldn't rely on the bar to make yourself forget or move on. You gotta go do the things that make you feel good about yourself.