The Doom Room: ILF Edition

[ShaolinLambKiller]

I knew a ton of people in my 20's with kids. Even dated a few girls that had kids. Just not for me in the least.

As far as people having children and they are not present.. that's fine. I can deal with parents. It's their children I don't want to have to deal with. That's fine if you want to come hang, jam, drink or whatever. Don't bring your kid with you I'm not going to appreciate it's presence even if it's locked up in a room somewhere. Oh and most likely won't come to your house to hang if you have kids... but honesly I don't like going to hang at anyone's house regardless. I rather spend my time at home doing what I want when I want. I'm not extremely social unless there is a specific goal in mind... (jamming, playing or seeing a show, eating dinner somewhere)

Thanks Barracuda, Fuck right they do. I commonly refer to my number one as my daughter and not in a joking way. Completely seriously. My two males.. well are adopties from the neighborhood, my wife befriended them and now they never leave so they are ours by default.

[neonblack]

Hey! My kids name is Ridley, sort of after Ridley Scott because of Alien. His middle name is Fox after Fox Mulder, and that's what we call him. Ridley is for later in life, and will look awesome on a business card.

I felt weird about naming him after a tv character and a director, and I sort of had name regret for a while but its a good name.

[Krosis]

Also, I understand why I had issues buying herbiage the other week off those kids at work. People in their twenties a horrified at the concept of children and anybody that has them. Another work mate of mine organized drinks at his place on Friday night just gone and invited all the guys from work for a lads night in. He has a ping pong table and Xbox in his garage, so it would've been a cruisy night with a few beers. He also has five kids. He's twenty six. He had to cancel as all the dudes in their twenties bailed at the last second for a get together at one of their places after confirming theyd be down for beer and table tennis.
So my theory is they can't handle people who've had kids, like we've crossed this great divide or something, or perhaps, pure and simple, they are just assholes.

Childless doomers, thoughts? Do children and friends you've known who have borne them feel alien to you know? Does the burden of their responsibility bum you out? Have they changed dramatically, because they have to plan their social calendar months in advance now?

Doomers with a brood, have you noticed a change in your interactions with the childless?

Maybe this should be its own thread....

I'm 31 with no plans anytime soon to have kids. Many people left and right of me around this age are trying the knot and getting knocked up though. I still want to drink, be loud, tell dirty jokes and just have a good time. Must be because I was studying in grad school when everyone else got to start working, getting paid, and getting to party, now they're ready to settle down. Anywho, perhaps those out there that are still in party mode, given the choice of partying at place X with no kids around and partying at place Y with some rugrats running around will choose place X because it's just more conducive to being loud, drunk, and profane.

My cousin throws parties at his house throughout the year. He's about 4 years older than me so each year at these parties more and more people show up with kids. The parties got noticeably tamer as the numbers of kids grow. Once the parents and kids leave though to get home and go to bed, the party gets ramped up again and there's more loudness, drinking, and profanity again.

So yeah, I think birds of a feather and that sort of thing.

[Krosis]

Hey! My kids name is Ridley, sort of after Ridley Scott because of Alien. His middle name is Fox after Fox Mulder, and that's what we call him. Ridley is for later in life, and will look awesome on a business card.

I felt weird about naming him after a tv character and a director, and I sort of had name regret for a while but its a good name.

What the hell is your last name then? Picard?

Just kidding man, Ridley Scott rules and I was a big X-Files fan too

[AxAxSxS]

No Kids, for purely selfish reasons. we have 3 dogs and a cat though so maybe we are compensating.
I'm not a fan of babies. Just not really conducive to social interaction. Especially if it is their first. Seems like everyone first child is so goddamn important and fragile and has to be the focal point of all attention at all times. By the third kid it's more "oh, the kid's eating rocks. hmm whatev."
Once they can talk I think kids are hilarious. Don't mind em at all. They are little drunk people. If a kids a spoiled brat I'll call them on it but most of the people I hang out with seem to have awesome kids. Went to a pig roast/block party/house show yesterday and the folks throwing the shindig had their daughter open the music for the evening. She sang beautifully, showed some great musical maturity and covered a Ramones song that she'd adapted to her style. Kid definitely had style to. wasn't just a recital, she had her own vibe going on. I thought it was awesome for a 16 year old, then I found out the kid was 12. I guess when your parents have a stoner metal band you learn some cool stuff about music early on. Come to think o it, there were a bunch of kids there and none of them were at all annoying.

[Iommic Pope]

Yeah your first kid is like being thrown into a shark tank, bound, bleeding and tied to an anchor. After that you get a system going and it becomes less terrifying.

Krosis: my party mode is generally the same, which is why I tend to go kid free and arrange for that time to be mine. It's all or fucking nothing, baby.

Odo: you a the kewlest. I need to make more friends like you.

Neon: that name is bad ass.

All of these facts aside though I still don't think we've uncovered the reason why there is a perceived gap between parents and peeps who haven't had kids. Cause all I'm picking up here is that it's only a perceived diffence and it isn't actually based on any fact.
Granted parents can't drop everything and go on a bender, but it's not like it's another universe or anything.

Are we chalking this one up to people are assholes?
Asshole parents ruining it for the rest of us, regaining people ad nauseum with tales of vomiting and sleepless nights?
Asshole singletons/ kid free peeps, over generalizing their fear of reproduction, jacking the parents thy interact with?
I'm running with both.
Everybody guilty.

[AxAxSxS]

I think it's the 20something thing. I'm 40. Love kids. Other people's kids. that I can visit and then leave if they are annoying, and don't have to care for, or explain why the weird dude at the party thought teaching them to greet their teachers with "Hail Satan!" was the funniest thing ever. Probably don't want to babysit ever. that removes the whole complete lack of responsibility that makes kids funny. By all means breing your kids to the party. just don't think I won't laugh at them when they run into a 4x4 deck post, or crap themselves. Or run up to their grandma yellin "Slayer!" at the top of their lings. That shits funny.

[Iommic Pope]

Dude, my wife and laugh our asses off if our kids hurt themselves in an amusing manner. That's life. That shit is funny.
Also, I would love it if a kid greeted me with a hail to beast. I would know that the village raising that child has some pretty awesome inhabitants.
As previously stated though, I knew the concentration of awesome would be higher here.

So ax thinks we can write this one off to twenty somethings sucking balls. Sorry guys, but you do.
Curmudgeons rule!

[whiskey_face]

thought we had a medicated devi ever alt a few pages ago. . .

and other peoples kids are like other peoples dogs. fun to teach them terrible shit, then wait for the parent to call you with

"ah come on man WTF?"

[Iommic Pope]

"Uncle Whiskey, why do you want me to spray the birthday cake with this aerosol instead of blowing on the candles?"
"they're a fire hazard kiddo, and that's an extinguisher..."

[HeavyXIII]

That was deft. Well played sir.

Ax is right. No plan is perfect. Just roll with it and put a relative in charge of damage control.

Also, I understand why I had issues buying herbiage the other week off those kids at work. People in their twenties a horrified at the concept of children and anybody that has them. Another work mate of mine organized drinks at his place on Friday night just gone and invited all the guys from work for a lads night in. He has a ping pong table and Xbox in his garage, so it would've been a cruisy night with a few beers. He also has five kids. He's twenty six. He had to cancel as all the dudes in their twenties bailed at the last second for a get together at one of their places after confirming theyd be down for beer and table tennis.
So my theory is they can't handle people who've had kids, like we've crossed this great divide or something, or perhaps, pure and simple, they are just assholes.

Childless doomers, thoughts? Do children and friends you've known who have borne them feel alien to you know? Does the burden of their responsibility bum you out? Have they changed dramatically, because they have to plan their social calendar months in advance now?

Doomers with a brood, have you noticed a change in your interactions with the childless?

Maybe this should be its own thread....

Coming from a new work environment where I see opportunity for the situation you seem to be in Pope. I think it depends on the type of work environment and dynamics between the staff. If say, the general manager at my store invited all the guys at work to his house to "hang out", I don't know that I'd want to go. BUT, it has a lot to do with my particular situation. Most of the people at my work (myself included) have no desire to see each other outside of the workplace. I want my off time to be OFF time.

Personally the kids thing doesn't bother me at all. I sat with one of my previous bosses kids for the day and had a grand old time. On the other hand, she didn't invite me over for dinner or company movie which feels a little different (kinda weird, I'm not sure I'd go for that). Barbeques and beers at a coworkers home (with or without kids) is cool, if you're not just 1 or 2 people attending. The thing I most enjoyed were so called "company outings", to a bar or bowling or whatever. Those generally feel a lot less awkward than the more "intimate" setting of a persons house. I almost can't believe how complex my answer has become.

Hangout scenarios aside, I think the crux of your issue might be a combination of what your relationship to your coworkers is and what they perceive your role in terms of authority is. I can imagine all of my LSD dropping, college bound coworkers sharing with each other, but if one of my older coworkers asked one of these kids for some, I can't really see them going for it. Hell, I think I may try to discreetly get a consensus tomorrow and get back to you.

[Iommic Pope]

Cool man. That would be awesome. I hadn't thought about the dynamic of perceived roles in the workplace, which seems obvious now that you've pointed it out. Although the younger guys have no trouble telling each other of their weekend escapades within earshot of the rest of us. What they get up to doesn't really bother me...most of the time I'm thinking, "you'd have lasted about ten seconds around me and my friends before one of us lit you on fire or served you a drink of garbage water"...just because we'd get wasted and do dumb awful shit to each other and if you weren't on the ball enough to defend yourself....alcoholic Darwinism. We had fun.
So yeah, they're kinda tame in comparison to how I was at their age, although I'm not sure if I would have been as weary of an older coworker hitting me up so much as I would have thought, "hey this guy is actually pretty cool for an old kook". Of course, we'd all like to remember ourselves a little more generously than perhaps we really were. Perspective is a malleable bitch. Perhaps that is also a sign of the two fucks I didn't give at that age and why, in retrospect, I sort of hate twenty-something me.
All answers are complex when human relationships and the behaviour that governs them are concerned.
Cheers for your perspective though man, its definitely a factor, I think.

[whiskey_face]

"Uncle Whiskey, why do you want me to spray the birthday cake with this aerosol instead of blowing on the candles?"
"they're a fire hazard kiddo, and that's an extinguisher..."

pretty fucking much.

when I was in 8th grade we got our first foreign exchange student, we became pals, he asked me

"I want to tell a girl shes beautiful, and I like her but I don't know how"

"oh man, call her a cunt. American girls love that"

so as soon as she came into class she sits down next to him

"good morning cunt" in a suuuper thick Slovakian accent

she just turned to me and was like WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU TELL HIM TO SAY THAT YOU ASSHOLE

[Iommic Pope]

That's awesome.

[AxAxSxS]

So yeah, they're kinda tame in comparison to how I was at their age.

So much this. I learned to be selective in what stories I would tell the new guys. even in the infantry where being more nuts than the next guy is almost a status symbol. Fucking snowflakes man.