The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread...

[dubkitty]

i'm supposed to go to this jam tonight, a regular thing they have at a rehearsal studio here recommended by fldrvr. so i should be happy, right? actually, i'm scared shitless of being in a room full of people i don't know. i'm going to try anyway, but i have the willies. plus i have nothing to do at work and am bored to death.

[Eivind August]

Been flipping alot of pedals lately, buying new stuff. All for the purpose of getting a board with my sound. And today I started contemplating about selling my Fuzz Factory to buy another fuzz, like a TAFM or whatever. If/when I do it, I'll have none of the pedals I've bought before january this year...

[Chankgeez]

Better Living Through Riflery

[futuresailors]

Mutherfucking post office.
So dickhead mailman didn't leave me a slip for a missed package back in May.
Then they send it back like a week before they're supposed to...the business day before I went in about it .
Now Austrian post is charging the guy 20EUR for the return postage fee.

So because this asshole was too laze to write the date on a piece of paper, I have to pay another $50 for something I only was going to make like $80 on, or suck up the $50 loss on shipping.

[Bassist_Diver]

PhD acceptance notwithstanding, the job I was supposed to get with the college has been cut and if I want to continue in this lab it will be on a volunteer basis. No more tourbox, need to sell my rig to cover rent/bills/food, and I'm gonna need to put off buying a ring for the gf.

Thanks for the curveball, life! You motherfucker.

[BitchPudding]

Dang neon, sorry to hear that. Just remember we're here to talk if you need someone.

Thanks dude. I may take you up on that. I need to vent, just not in a public forum. And I can't tell my friends cause they all hate their significant others, and their only advice is "Leave!"

For sure. I've got skype, you can PM me, all that jazz.

[gunslinger_burrito]

as usual for all the doods having a hard time here. I'm still glad we have this little corner to vent/ask for advice, etc.

As for me. . . .

SUCH. APATHY.

I need a new job but I doubt there's anything that'll pay $15-ish an hour that I can do. I can't really afford to cut back on the wages very much due to rent and such. Work is tiring to the point that I have no energy for anything else. I look forward to my days off, but I can't seem to get focused or motivated/inspired when they come. I have this theory that my brain is getting so wired into "work mode" to make my work days/weeks go by smoother, that when I come around to do the things that actually mean something to me, I'm at a loss. It takes me all of my two days off to get my shit together enough to feel stoked about whatever I'm doing. I've managed to stay excited about exercising but if I choose to on a work day then I basically have to give up on being artistically productive. I need a new way of life and I'm drawing a big fucking blank. There's nothing worse than getting excited about something all day at work only to come home and fall asleep trying to do it. It's a fucking horrible spiral.

Bottom line=work is draining my soul and I can't find my way out.

[Bassist_Diver]

Not really sure where this belongs but I think this is where it's closest.

Just got done with a huge, HUGE fight with the gf that was on the edge of a breakup. I told her that her temper was abhorrent and that her vulgarity was a huge turn-off. Meanwhile, she told me I needed to talk to her more and not bottle stuff up until it reaches critical mass.

Because of our work situations we've had to do the distance thing for a bit and as such, tension is pretty high and both our tempers have gotten a bit short. What's bad is there's a light at the end of the tunnel and I was this close to throwing it all away. I still love her (eww... he loves someone! He's gonna get kooties!) but was trying to will myself into thinking otherwise, so I really need to figure out where that negativity and frustration are coming from (hint: see my last post) and fix it before I make a huge mistake.

[Bassist_Diver]

MCR is for bad people plz stop with the Mcr thrads gosh. Going to try and locate pizza and beer to calm my nerves but stop it u emus! !!

[Twangasaurus]

Fucking hard drive is dying again, making me want to punch things. I hereby swear that I will never, ever buy anything other than an SSD ever again. Dust can go burn into a molten slag.

[friendship]

as usual for all the doods having a hard time here. I'm still glad we have this little corner to vent/ask for advice, etc.

As for me. . . .

SUCH. APATHY.

I need a new job but I doubt there's anything that'll pay $15-ish an hour that I can do. I can't really afford to cut back on the wages very much due to rent and such. Work is tiring to the point that I have no energy for anything else. I look forward to my days off, but I can't seem to get focused or motivated/inspired when they come. I have this theory that my brain is getting so wired into "work mode" to make my work days/weeks go by smoother, that when I come around to do the things that actually mean something to me, I'm at a loss. It takes me all of my two days off to get my shit together enough to feel stoked about whatever I'm doing. I've managed to stay excited about exercising but if I choose to on a work day then I basically have to give up on being artistically productive. I need a new way of life and I'm drawing a big fucking blank. There's nothing worse than getting excited about something all day at work only to come home and fall asleep trying to do it. It's a fucking horrible spiral.

Bottom line=work is draining my soul and I can't find my way out.

I'm nodding at every sentence. I totally feel you.

[dubkitty]

i'm getting really distressed by my seeming inability to get started on the next phase of my healing. no matter what i do i wind up sleeping/staying in bed all weekend rather than doing things that need to get done. i'm just frozen in dismal, bitter anxiety and hopelessness. the changes to my meds have made me marginally better, but i still can't get out of this non-functioning, non-playing mode. at some point i have to wash the dishes and take the trash out.

i didn't mention that i'm getting tired of my job and my workplace, and that i can't seem to feel at home in Charlottesville no matter what i do. or the massive amount of stuff hanging over me, ranging from getting my cat to the vet to needing to find a lawyer so i can go bankrupt. things are fucked, and i don't know how to fix them. it's horribly embarrassing to be in this place at my point in life. everybody in my office seems to have wives and kids except me, and it's pretty heartbreaking. thankfully nobody asks me what i did with my life...if they did i might have to hit them.

[D.o.S.]

I maintain that banging chicks while following the Dead is a fantastic answer to that question, Dubs.

[dubkitty]

doesn't keep you warm at night, though.

[chuckjaywalk]

I'm sad I can't hug all my pedal breaxes.