The GREAT DISILLUSIONMENT. Really, if you want to life life on your own terms, you have to create your own job. No one tells you how to get off the beaten path.
If you work for someone else, well, you have to do as you're told. College seems more and more to be preparation for a life of that. Don't take my word for it, though, I'm a huge loser!
24"-36" of snow in the forecast between tommorrow afternoon and early morning Wednesday. I don't mind leaving in a snowy state but God damn, that just fucking outrageous. Going to be shoveling every 4 hours.
It's been so unseasonably warm here all winter and I hate it. I love the cold, winters my season and instead of snow and -35C it's just wet and sloppy with car accidents everywhere when it refreezes every night. I shouldn't be complaining about it being warm but fuck it sucks.
Also I haven't had a computer for almost three months now and haven't been able to fix it yet, I don't really use it for anything besides ILF and Netflix which I can do both of on my phone. But it is getting a little annoying not having one.
Skullservant, Ryan Summit and MSUsousaphone are righteous dudes
Disarm D'arcy wrote:Feeling confident and pretty like a little princess is just as important as pedge.
depressed. the more loops i put up, the fewer people listen to them. and i'm emotionally exhausted but have SO MUCH STUFF i have to deal with. if it wasn't for my cat needing me, i'd get out, but she's chronically ill and needs someone who will put up with that. and she's way too sweet to abandon. but i haven't wanted to be alive for years now.
In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni
FIFTY YEARS OF SCARING THE CHILDREN 1970-2020--and i'm not done yet
I don't know how to find the answer to my question but I thought maybe someone here would know something.
I know that there are some brain disorders or whatever you might call them where people can't associate emotions with people very well, and I'm wondering if I have something like that. I get anxious when I'm away from the girlfriend, or when close friends or loved ones don't get back to me very soon, and stuff like that..... It's like I need constant reassurance or "evidence" that these people actually care about me when I'm not there with them in person. Sometimes, if I get too worked up, when I do actually see them, it's hard to be happy because I'm emotionally drained. It feels like a trust issue, and also like addictive behavior.
It's almost like I know that so and so loves me, because they tell me so and I don't have any negative interactions with them, but I don't feel like they love me, and so I tend to go fishing for positive reinforcement all the time. Does that make sense? Is this just some emotional immaturity bullshit (and I need to stop being a baby about certain things), or could it be something deeper?
Also, dubs, your loops are fucking pretty dude. I mean this as a compliment: they remind me of really good video game soundtracks. I miss those.
dubkitty wrote:depressed. the more loops i put up, the fewer people listen to them. and i'm emotionally exhausted but have SO MUCH STUFF i have to deal with. if it wasn't for my cat needing me, i'd get out, but she's chronically ill and needs someone who will put up with that. and she's way too sweet to abandon. but i haven't wanted to be alive for years now.
Having pets is probably the biggest thing keeping my life on an even keel. Yes, they're needy little beasts, but I think I'm the one who needs them. I guess I'm a needy big beast.
Hadn't heard "Harbor" yet. Ring mod or prepared guitar for the gong tones?
D.o.S. wrote:Broadly speaking, if we at ILF are dropping 300 bucks on a pedal it probably sounds like an SNES holocaust.
friendship wrote:death to false bleep-blop
UglyCasanova wrote:brb gonna slap my dick on my stomp boxes
I quit my job yesterday and before I did, finished a lot of things you're supposed to do before you leave, hoping they wouldn't keep me for two weeks. I can say I've not contributed a single dollar to our revenue through any of my work but they still want me for the two weeks working on some nebulous market research project that really will have no effect on the performance of the company.
Was really hoping they'd let me go early. My dry heaves are back and I completely lost my appetite. It would have been nice to have the free time to care for myself, I'm finally feeling extroverted, I want to exercise more and I need to get in the habit of cooking for myself more often but this place drains me, wasting 10 hours of every weekday.
Part of me just wants to be an asshole and get fired, I won't need a reference here as I have accomplished nothing in 6 months. But I'll feel better if I just wait this out and avoid burning bridges, it's just so frustrating. I can honestly say I preferred delivering Jimmy John's in the summer with no AC in my car like when I was in high school, at least I had fun every once in a while. Hopefully this is all over soon.
It'll be over and seem like it took forever, and then after a while it'll seem like it wasn't ever as serious as it is now. That's been my usual experiences at least.
weed_killer wrote:It'll be over and seem like it took forever, and then after a while it'll seem like it wasn't ever as serious as it is now. That's been my usual experiences at least.
Yeah I just have to remember my headphones so I can catch up on all the movies I missed this year. It's like they ask me to stick around then never check up on me. This has been absolutely terrible for me mentally and I can honestly say the past 6 months here have been the worst of my life. But it could have been sooo much worse and now shit is looking up. This last stretch will just be the hardest part. Hoping I can swing a work-from-home thing because there's no point to me being in the office any more.
What would happen if you just don't show up for work?
OT: Sometimes I wish the working people would stop working in solidarity to all the people that don't have jobs/income/homes/food/health. Jobs and taxes are the only thing holding this sinking system afloat anyway. It should cause some collapses to set things in their proper place.
rfurtkamp wrote:Bastard stepchild of modern delay times/looping and a Lexicon Vortex would have me whipping out the credit card faster than a hooker at a coke convention.