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Achtane wrote:I was thinking tonight at work that there should definitely be a porn based on the Johnny Cash song, "The Legend of John Henry's Hammer".
Even if there's already a porno version of the story. There might well be.

Like, the setup could be that there's this BBW so, uh, BB that no man is capable of satiating her hambeast lust. Every man on the line has attempted to push his way through her massive folds, to no avail. But of course our man John with his massive BBC "hammer" appears. This is where they can use lyrics directly from the song:
"Swing that hammer down three times
Pay you a nickel a day for every inch you sink it to"
And so on, at opportune moments.

So John's making good progress but then this big boss man comes in to totally cuck him with a steam drill...drilldo. He's all "You so high and mighty with all them muscles, boy, but you 'bout through. This steam drill(do)'s gonna take a little vinegar outta you,"
Then the DP man-machine fuck contest begins. We're really going for a lot of fetishes at once, here. It turns into a public fuck-off. "Two thousand people hollered 'go, John Henry'" and shit gets insanely acrobatic. Eventually the drilldo blows up from sheer friction as the wo-mountain utters a horrible sigh and John Henry emerges victorious. However, as we know, his heart just couldn't take the strain. He fucked himself to death. But every hopeful amateur porn producer makes a pilgrimage to his grave in hopes that it will bring them good fortune.
"You sure was a hammer swinger."
The end.

Feel free to PayPal me $10k for the rights to this production.

Moose wrote:

KaosCill8r wrote:

UglyCasanova wrote:No the worst song to have playing at the back of your head. I once had 'little drummer boy' on repeat for over a month. I was hell. My gf listened to christmas songs an entire summer a few years back also, haha. Those were strange times!

I have banned Christmas songs in any place I live. Will destroy any Christmas cd or tape played. Fuck Christmas. That said, when I have kids I will probably have to change that point of view. But until then, bah humbug!!!

There are only two good christmas related things in modern culture:

"Xmas has been x'ed" by NoFX.

The Christmas Episode of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

Least in my view anyway.

Twangasaurus wrote:Dude. Furbies are back.

Dr. Sherman Sticks M.D. wrote:tamagotchi anyone?

gunslinger_burrito wrote:

Moose wrote:

KaosCill8r wrote:

UglyCasanova wrote:No the worst song to have playing at the back of your head. I once had 'little drummer boy' on repeat for over a month. I was hell. My gf listened to christmas songs an entire summer a few years back also, haha. Those were strange times!

I have banned Christmas songs in any place I live. Will destroy any Christmas cd or tape played. Fuck Christmas. That said, when I have kids I will probably have to change that point of view. But until then, bah humbug!!!

There are only two good christmas related things in modern culture:

"Xmas has been x'ed" by NoFX.

The Christmas Episode of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

Least in my view anyway.

What about Gremlins and Bad Santa?