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wfs1234 wrote:I hate Father's Day, because I hate my father. And because I have other father-figure-types in my life I'm guilted into getting them something which only further's the point that my real father is a dead beat, porn addicted, narcissistic asshole.

amen sister
especially when my sister calls saying hes asking about you
its been 10 years does it look like im interested in talking to that rat bastard
dance on his grave

tuffteef wrote:

wfs1234 wrote:I hate Father's Day, because I hate my father. And because I have other father-figure-types in my life I'm guilted into getting them something which only further's the point that my real father is a dead beat, porn addicted, narcissistic asshole.

amen sister
especially when my sister calls saying hes asking about you
its been 10 years does it look like im interested in talking to that rat bastard
dance on his grave

It's been ten years since I've seen my dad too, and I too will dance on his grave after he finally masterbates himself to death. Fortunately my siblings all feel the same way, so I fortunately don't have to deal with their guilt about not seeing him or his family.

I'm cutting and I don't have anywhere IRL or online that might reply immediately and be "cool" w/o totally freaking out.

I don't even know why. Just kind of feel like I deserve to be punished for feeling so good artificially lately.

I can't even find a decent mental illness forum online, need to start looking at IRL support groups. Anonymity really helps me. Even with super personal problems.

I don't think I can wear a T-shirt for the rest of the summer.

EDIT: And I have this $650 hospital bill from when I drank too much. I just always sabotage myself. And that's just the ambulance I don't think I've gotten the ER bill yet, or if that will slide by under insurance (I'm lucky to be on my mom's state insurance, which is still ok after that FUCK Walker)

snipelfritz wrote:I'm cutting and I don't have anywhere IRL or online that might reply immediately and be "cool" w/o totally freaking out.

I don't even know why. Just kind of feel like I deserve to be punished for feeling so good artificially lately.

I can't even find a decent mental illness forum online, need to start looking at IRL support groups. Anonymity really helps me. Even with super personal problems.

I hear you on the forums and the anon thing, nothing is easier than talking to strangers and nothing harder than talking to people that you give a crap about. As for someone to talk to IRL have you considered a health professional? I mean if you just wanted to spill your guts to someone, have them listen and hand out some educated advice then find a psychologist or if you can't afford that then go to a counselor at a community center or get in contact with a charity. I don't know how it is where you are but in Australia there are quite a few charities with "crisis centers" if you need to talk to someone. The support group thing isn't a bad idea either.

I mean I would like to give some specific advice but the cutting thing isn't something I have experience with, I'm a glutton for punishment too but I achieve it in other ways.

snipelfritz wrote:I'm cutting and I don't have anywhere IRL or online that might reply immediately and be "cool" w/o totally freaking out.

I don't even know why. Just kind of feel like I deserve to be punished for feeling so good artificially lately.

I can't even find a decent mental illness forum online, need to start looking at IRL support groups. Anonymity really helps me. Even with super personal problems.

You should join a gym! Weightlifting/exercise can fulfill some of the self-harm desire while also being a constructive activity that you feel good about doing. It's something that's helped me, anyway. I swear there were studies on this but I can't find them right now.

Wish I could give you advice on the talking to people aspect, but I suck at that, too.

the_carl wrote:

snipelfritz wrote:I'm cutting and I don't have anywhere IRL or online that might reply immediately and be "cool" w/o totally freaking out.

I don't even know why. Just kind of feel like I deserve to be punished for feeling so good artificially lately.

I can't even find a decent mental illness forum online, need to start looking at IRL support groups. Anonymity really helps me. Even with super personal problems.

You should join a gym! Weightlifting/exercise can fulfill some of the self-harm desire while also being a constructive activity that you feel good about doing. It's something that's helped me, anyway. I swear there were studies on this but I can't find them right now.

Wish I could give you advice on the talking to people aspect, but I suck at that, too.

I second the gym advice. It can definitely help.

As for talking to people, what about Skyping with people on ILF?

jfrey wrote:

the_carl wrote:

snipelfritz wrote:I'm cutting and I don't have anywhere IRL or online that might reply immediately and be "cool" w/o totally freaking out.

I don't even know why. Just kind of feel like I deserve to be punished for feeling so good artificially lately.

I can't even find a decent mental illness forum online, need to start looking at IRL support groups. Anonymity really helps me. Even with super personal problems.

You should join a gym! Weightlifting/exercise can fulfill some of the self-harm desire while also being a constructive activity that you feel good about doing. It's something that's helped me, anyway. I swear there were studies on this but I can't find them right now.

Wish I could give you advice on the talking to people aspect, but I suck at that, too.

I second the gym advice. It can definitely help.

As for talking to people, what about Skyping with people on ILF?

That's a pretty good idea. Heck, it's why I'm taking up playing WoW again. It provides me a way to hang out with all my friends back in Texas.

So my girlfriend is probably leaving me.

jfrey wrote:So my girlfriend is probably leaving me.

Reminds me of when you left your girlfriend for her.

uhhhh, I'm drunk. Why the fuck am I saying that. I'm sorry bro.

I just wanted to say that I can't even roll up my sleeves now in public, but I kind of want to. I'm totally fucked in the head.

jfrey wrote:So my girlfriend is probably leaving me.

'cause of the impending relocation? It happens dude, don't sweat it.

snipelfritz wrote:

jfrey wrote:So my girlfriend is probably leaving me.

Reminds me of when you left your girlfriend for her.

I didn't leave my ex for her. I met her after I left my ex.

D.o.S. wrote:

jfrey wrote:So my girlfriend is probably leaving me.

'cause of the impending relocation? It happens dude, don't sweat it.

Sort of a hard thing to not sweat but thanks.

my cousin, with whom i'm saying, has been bitching at me constantly for the last couple of days. i really am coming to despise him on a certain level. i desperately need to get out of here, but i don't have anywhere to go. and i can't live in my truck with the cats.

i'm also giving up and applying for disability, like so many other people in the current Death of the Old Economy. i've struggled for thirty years to have a life that i created for myself and to be responsible, but i don't think it's ever going to happen again. i've entirely lost hope. if Lulu and my friends didn't need me, i'd have no reason to live.

and now i'm out of weed, and since i'm so shy and fucked up i don't know anyone here to buy from, and i can't go to Michigan for MMJ any more beacuse my card expired.

getting more depressed by the second. i have a ton of shit i HAVE to do , so i'm going to have to go out. if you hear on the news that somebody went batty in Chicago and ran over a crowd of people in an old Suburban you'll know what happened.

jfrey wrote:

snipelfritz wrote:

jfrey wrote:So my girlfriend is probably leaving me.

Reminds me of when you left your girlfriend for her.

I didn't leave my ex for her. I met her after I left my ex.

D.o.S. wrote:

jfrey wrote:So my girlfriend is probably leaving me.

'cause of the impending relocation? It happens dude, don't sweat it.

Sort of a hard thing to not sweat but thanks.

RIght. Emotions. They exist.