ilovefuzz.com

i was suppose to start working at this girls house today
ive done a lot of stuf for her before
actually was suppose to start yesterday
she keeps forgettin to leave the key
no work means no fucking money
paid for smokes with change this morning
also the paypal to bank transfer is such b.s.
bank to paypal is instant cause they get their cut
guarantee that will NEVER change

So I'm on my third round of interviews for this new gig.

This one's a phone interview. because the woman who was supposed to interview me yesterday has some kind of stomache flu. That's cool, totally legit. But I stupidly gave her a four hour window to call. This is far too long to be glued to my phone, not doing anything substantial because I might get the phone call.

FUCK.

Having to wait by the phone for stuff totally sucks, especially when it's an interview that you just want to get done.

ANNNND No fucking phone call.

Sweet.

oy fucking vey, i'm really beginning to hope that the remaining job possibilities DON'T pan out because then i'll have no excuse to stay here. my cousin can be such a crass fuck sometimes...i was telling him about PMing with an ILFer and giving advice about project guitars, and as he always does when i talk about my art he tells me that i could find a way to make money doing it. i don't do this shit to make money, i do it for love and because it makes me happy, and he fails to comprehend that i don't WANT to monetize the stuff i love because that turns love into obligation. i'm actually warming to the idea of going on crazy-dude disability because i can get enough to get by and spend my dole-supported time doing art, even though i see it as surrendering to irresponsibility. i just want to be able to do my art in a quiet place where the world will leave me alone. why do i feel like that's wrong, that it's giving up? i mean, other than that it IS giving up.

dubkitty wrote:oy fucking vey, i'm really beginning to hope that the remaining job possibilities DON'T pan out because then i'll have no excuse to stay here. my cousin can be such a crass fuck sometimes...i was telling him about PMing with an ILFer and giving advice about project guitars, and as he always does when i talk about my art he tells me that i could find a way to make money doing it. i don't do this shit to make money, i do it for love and because it makes me happy, and he fails to comprehend that i don't WANT to monetize the stuff i love because that turns love into obligation. i'm actually warming to the idea of going on crazy-dude disability because i can get enough to get by and spend my dole-supported time doing art, even though i see it as surrendering to irresponsibility. i just want to be able to do my art in a quiet place where the world will leave me alone. why do i feel like that's wrong, that it's giving up? i mean, other than that it IS giving up.

I see it as taking advantage of an oppertunity (the disability) that will open up other oppertunities. Giving up is lying down and dying. And youre alive and, for the most part, well. No shame bro.

hes still bustin yer balls on the way out,eh dk?
im sorry dude
fucked up living situations suck yucky butthole
and family....oofah

i get to work tomorrow cause
someone had to take their dog to the vet
not like a sick dog
nails cut and advantix
they didnt tell me
so im waitin around with thumb in ass today
makin busy work
didnt tell me they had an appointment
im fucking charging for this shit
i cant take it anymore
i try not to fuck people with hours
but if im fuckin there
youre fuckin paying
these fuckin people are just complete dildos
i know what youre thinking
at least im working,right
yeah, always 6, sometimes 7 days a week
broke all the fucking time
cant get ahead after novembers disaster
and my friends called from out west
theyve got a little enterprise goin out there
dudes got a downpayment on a house
buried in waterproof boxes all over the city
he was helpin me out here last year
i mean what theryre doin id end up killin myself
but im killin myself now
and i feel every ounce of stress
dammit
sorry guys
needed to vent out
been almost 2 years clean now
and im not havin a swell time
if it wasnt for DANGRxFIELD thursdays
and ILFDISTRACTIONLAND
id be high as kite right now
well the kite woulda never stopped flyin
but you get what im sayin
i wanna go lalaland
fortunately i put myself in a town
with the worst smack on earth
decompressssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
"whoo-sah"-martin lawrence(bad boys 2)

ryan, stay strong bro

good thing the temptation is far away. you don't need that...at least with your current situation you get to make the decisions, rather than Bad Stuff making your decisions for you. i'll keep going if you will.

and i'm quite serious when i say that i really don't want to have anything to do with my family once i'm gone from here. it was a desperation move in the first place, and i really didn't need to get sucked back into the dynamic of these fucking crazy people who don't even realize how insane they and their little obsessions are. at least i KNOW i'm fucking daft.

Take two bucks, play Powerball and go to bed dreaming about all the imaginative ways you'd tell everyone to eat shit if you won. At least it'll make you smile.

wow thats crazy
after i wrote that
i went to get smokes at the store
i never play scratchy lottery
but i had a hankerin
spent $2
won $2
chasing fear is either a psychic
or fucking stalking me
have fun
i promise ill do something exciting in a few days

HANG IN THERE BROS

ryan summit wrote:wow thats crazy
after i wrote that
i went to get smokes at the store
i never play scratchy lottery
but i had a hankerin
spent $2
won $2
chasing fear is either a psychic
or fucking stalking me
have fun
i promise ill do something exciting in a few days

With the scratchers I end up spending more than winning. I wish just once a young dude with a good head on his shoulders that really needs the money would win the lottery. Ryan dude, sending positive vibes your way. Try the games where you have to pick your own numbers like Take 5, Lotto, Mega, etc., and pick your own numbers. Just a buck man. You never know. Like they say, you gotta be in it to win it, right? Besides, that climb to your second story window is killing me! I used to be a crazy speed freak. Meth. Loved that shit. But took myself away from it, came back and saw my meth friends and realized what losers they were. Been clean for years now. Don't even drink. You gotta stay sharp.

I live in a predominantly Irish area, nothing but bars and drunks 24-7. Fucking ridiculous how drunk some people get in public. Just Google the name Kevin Bell and read what happened last month. No more for me man. But I don't preach to anyone. Weed is cool. But I think drugs are for people that don't know how to have fun. It only helped me go two steps back. Stay clean bros. Stay sharp.