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did you get some good food at the hospital?....we watched river monsters and ate panini's and ice cream before our kid was ushered into this. Presbyterians rule aha....first they took us to a heart only hospital and these women were like omg we never delivered before LETS DO IT then we got back on the ambulance thank goodness. fuckin rookies.

Dude nice! Congratulations!!!

Invisible Man wrote:Baby arrived this morning. Named him Harrison. 10lbs 5oz, super long, giant dick and balls. Alarmingly big.

Grats man! I was 10lbs 8 oz .. but I turned out 6'3" ..
grats also on the oversized baby genitals! His future girlfriends/mothers of your grandchildren (numerous) can't wait!

Congrats pops. Pictures!

Eh, I'm on mobile. Don't know how.

That first oil slick meconium shit was pretty gnarly when coupled with balls. Is this normal? Holy fuck this kid's nutsack is bigger than a golf ball and he's 6 hours old.

In summary: balls; shit; balls.

Invisible Man wrote:

Eh, I'm on mobile. Don't know how.

That first oil slick meconium shit was pretty gnarly when coupled with balls. Is this normal? Holy fuck this kid's nutsack is bigger than a golf ball and he's 6 hours old.

In summary: balls; shit; balls.

Can't comment on the huge balls, but nasty baby shits are the grim reality of parenthood. I got the honor of the first cleanup on both my boys and it's almost like there's more tar shit than baby.

Oh yeah, meconium. Joyous black tar.

All 3 of my boys had that ginormous sack when they born. Nurse said it had something to do with the hormone bath they were swimming in. It shrunk fairly quickly (I think??)

Yeah my boy had lots of Tar squirting everywhere, and I honestly don't remember the sack details. I was kind of in shock from the event

I mean huge balls are cool, but proportionately the kid would never walk right or be able to ride a bicycle. I was worried about him. Imagine trying to endure the race of life with a very sensitive honeydew melon dangling between your thighs.
Speaking of: I named him after Harrison Bergeron.

Should've named him Vonneguts.

<REVOLUTION>

Invisible Man wrote:I mean huge balls are cool, but proportionately the kid would never walk right or be able to ride a bicycle. I was worried about him. Imagine trying to endure the race of life with a very sensitive honeydew melon dangling between your thighs.
Speaking of: I named him after Harrison Bergeron.

Don't worry about it, I have huge nuts and everything turned out fine. I mean, not really, everything is a disaster but it's not because of my monstrous balls.

This is what physicists and mathematicians refer to as the 'transitive teste property.'

Congrats Iman! My two best friends had their first kid yesterday so...I'm an Uncle now!

I use the Dad Dick bit all the time with the male one of my two best friends. I even spread a rumor amongst our friend group that he has an enormous penis now because "it knows what it can do" "it wants to do that "funny bit where they grow a person again"

Competence breeds confidence.