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Achtane wrote:

wfs1234 wrote:I'm at a strip club with $1 beers, but I'm on antibiotics so I can't drink much. Also, this is my first time at a strip club..... I kinda hate everything right now

Throw $1 beers at the strippers to liven the place up.

If I wasn't here with people from my Econ program I might. They're all celebrating passing core exams. I'm so fucking awkward by all this I can't handle it. If I'd ridden my bike here I would leave, but I rode with a friend. I still might leave anyway.

update: the evening actually turned out alright. I got a lapdance and kindof forgot about myself and my awkwardness, so, I ended up having fun.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooo relationships
I've grown a few more grey hairs

The topic of weddings came up for the briefest moment this morning and though I thought we were on the same page about what we want (and what we DON'T want) it has become apparent that this might be a long, hard road.

Oh I know this feel

Never had a person in my life that makes me feel like such a worthless cunt for trying to be a good friend. Makes me wonder if it's a result of my illness or if I have some serious lessons to learn in emotional maturity. Alternatively I could be too quick to blame myself while thinking the best of others.

http://www.theroot.com/articles/culture ... anage.html

Best guess? He took the "we're all a global family" sentiment and applied that famous Midwestern earnestness a little too literally.

I've now cut my time down to a good 7 minutes of playing music before I absolutely loathe myself into stopping.

Hopefully I can get it to 5 minutes by the end of the summer.

D.o.S. wrote:http://www.theroot.com/articles/culture/2014/07/okla_teen_missionary_allegedly_raped_several_children_at_kenyan_orphanage.html

Best guess? He took the "we're all a global family" sentiment and applied that famous Midwestern earnestness a little too literally.

What a cunt.

Speaking of cunts, I just spent over an hour in traffic trying to get to my first lecture of the semester, only to get turned around as they shut down the main road I take to get to uni. All city bound traffic from the north side had come to standstill.
Seeing as I'd already missed half the lecture, because council don't know what a fucking sign is, I just booked it home.
Got my stress on and wasted petrol for nothing.

friendship wrote:I've now cut my time down to a good 7 minutes of playing music before I absolutely loathe myself into stopping.

Hopefully I can get it to 5 minutes by the end of the summer.

my two cents- Whenever I feel this way it's because I'm trying to write something that sounds like a band I like, instead of what comes naturally to me. It helps to take a couple-few days off from time to time, too.

gunslinger_burrito wrote:

friendship wrote:I've now cut my time down to a good 7 minutes of playing music before I absolutely loathe myself into stopping.

Hopefully I can get it to 5 minutes by the end of the summer.

my two cents- Whenever I feel this way it's because I'm trying to write something that sounds like a band I like, instead of what comes naturally to me. It helps to take a couple-few days off from time to time, too.

Yeah, I keep defaulting to ideas ripping off musicians I like. Feel like I should listen to something wildly different than I usually do, or do some kind of music consumption cleanse, where I don't listen to anything for a while.

That's exactly what I do, and it really seems to help. I tend to play heavy drones and really sludgy riffs and so on, so I tend to listen more to electronic music, singer-songwriter, jazz, classical, and generally not-brutal music. Or if you're into more experimental music, listen to experimental artists that aren't doing exactly what you think you want to do. I love Tom Waits, but no way in hell am I ever going to make music that sounds anything like his. I'm just not made for it.

In other news, I have to go back to work today after five days off, and I've heard that they're messing with the schedules again. I'm so fucking over this job. Gotta find something new. It's next to impossible to do anything in the art and music scene when I have to be to work at 5AM Friday, Saturday, AND Sunday mornings.

FUCK old assholes with their "because that's the way we've always done it" mentality.

I've spent my whole morning looking for different jobs.....no luck, and WHY THE HELL are the only tattoo shops offering apprenticeships the really crappy ones?!?!? so frustrated. Of the two great artists I found today, that I haven't heard of before, one moved away.... and the other only takes really big work.

i'm feeling really weird. the Welbutrin makes me mood-swingy to an uncomfortable degree, and even as i'm getting stuff done in some areas there's still always a part of me standing in the background going "yeah, well, this little thing is OK but the big picture is still shit." what difference will new glasses make when i'm still looking at the same old shit?

When things are really fucked, you gotta treasure nice moments and small victories. One step at a time. You have to build on that; it's overwhelming to think about every shitty thing as a whole, it'll just wipe away any small progress you make.