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Holy hell stuff got really awkward really quickly with a friend for a while there. Wires crossed.
So, pretty fuckin' embarrassed, but also weirdly proud because...fuck it, man, at least I just up and made a decision instead of anxiously vacillating and regretting the lack of resolution like I would have in the past. Plus it wasn't totally my fault
Sometimes damage control is better to deal with than if nothing had happened at all. Unless you're sailing the Titanic or something. Actually there are a lot of situations where that doesn't apply.
Oh well.

D.o.S. wrote:About to become reacquainted with heavy reliance on public transportation. Joy.

i was just going to post. that. i find a lot of peoples Driving "habits" irritating.

Sparrow wrote:

D.o.S. wrote:About to become reacquainted with heavy reliance on public transportation. Joy.

i was just going to post. that. i find a lot of peoples Driving "habits" irritating.

Likewise on the driving habits of others. And on the matter of public transportation, I often find it interesting to people-watch. I've seen some real crazies taking city busses. There was this one crackhead that told me he was Michael Jackson and he called me Brad Pitt (who I look nothing like, but hey, crackrock). Anyway, this dude just gravitated towards me (really, what is this saying about me?) and told me that the devil's other name was Nobody because he had "no body". And he said that when the devil threw rocks at him, he picked them up and smoked them. Was interesting to say the least.

Achtane wrote:Holy hell stuff got really awkward really quickly with a friend for a while there. Wires crossed.
So, pretty fuckin' embarrassed, but also weirdly proud because...fuck it, man, at least I just up and made a decision instead of anxiously vacillating and regretting the lack of resolution like I would have in the past. Plus it wasn't totally my fault
Sometimes damage control is better to deal with than if nothing had happened at all. Unless you're sailing the Titanic or something. Actually there are a lot of situations where that doesn't apply.
Oh well.

What's the expression? "It's better to apologize than to ask permission." Or something like that.

I don't know if this is anything but sadness, but I'm going through the hardest breakup of my life, and I'm still living with my "girlfriend" until she can find her own place. The thing that makes this hard is that she is already very close with someone else and she spends more time with him than me. I haven't cried this much since my dog got hit by a car. I know my life will be better when this is all over, but breaking up is just so hard to do. I can't turn off my emotions and when we do hang out, I can't even have a bittersweet time. I just get jealous and start crying and being pathetic. Breaking up is so hard ILF. I just wish it was over already.

ThurberMingus wrote:I don't know if this is anything but sadness, but I'm going through the hardest breakup of my life, and I'm still living with my "girlfriend" until she can find her own place. The thing that makes this hard is that she is already very close with someone else and she spends more time with him than me. I haven't cried this much since my dog got hit by a car. I know my life will be better when this is all over, but breaking up is just so hard to do. I can't turn off my emotions and when we do hang out, I can't even have a bittersweet time. I just get jealous and start crying and being pathetic. Breaking up is so hard ILF. I just wish it was over already.

Aww, man...that's certainly a shitty situation to be in Been there a few times myself. And it will get better in time. Easier said than done, but hang in there. You can drop me a PM if you want to talk about it in depth

ThurberMingus wrote:I don't know if this is anything but sadness, but I'm going through the hardest breakup of my life, and I'm still living with my "girlfriend" until she can find her own place. The thing that makes this hard is that she is already very close with someone else and she spends more time with him than me. I haven't cried this much since my dog got hit by a car. I know my life will be better when this is all over, but breaking up is just so hard to do. I can't turn off my emotions and when we do hang out, I can't even have a bittersweet time. I just get jealous and start crying and being pathetic. Breaking up is so hard ILF. I just wish it was over already.

serious At least it sounds like she spends time away from you. In my experience, it's best to do your utmost to cut as much contact as possible at first. If you still want to be friends, that's great, but you'll most likely need a period where you don't see or talk to her so that you can heal yourself. I'd find a way to see her less while she's still living with you if that's possible.



My arm hurts. I think I have some tendonitis flaring up in my right elbow. I think the best thing to do, until I can find a doctor, is to lay off of anything that might aggravate it. So that means no drawing/painting, no playing guitar, and possibly no exercise. So I can't do any of the things I love. On top of that my girlfriend is so busy with school and work that she has hardly any time to see me. If anything, I feel like a pet cat or dog that gets a treat and a pat on the head for being good from time to time. I really want to give it a month or so to see if she's just stressed recently, or if it's going to be an enduring trend. IF it's the latter, I'm afraid that my relationship is going to end.

I'm listening to the warnings in my head next time I'm not sure about starting to date someone.

Sparrow wrote:

D.o.S. wrote:About to become reacquainted with heavy reliance on public transportation. Joy.

i was just going to post. that. i find a lot of peoples Driving "habits" irritating.

Apparently the police have similar reservations about mine.

but really

Apparently my radiator's been leaking all winter- floorboards are all warped and discolored and there's probably mold, but it's in the corner and I'd have to move a whole wall of shelving unit things for them to get to it...

Spock is dead...

gunslinger_burrito wrote:

ThurberMingus wrote:I don't know if this is anything but sadness, but I'm going through the hardest breakup of my life, and I'm still living with my "girlfriend" until she can find her own place. The thing that makes this hard is that she is already very close with someone else and she spends more time with him than me. I haven't cried this much since my dog got hit by a car. I know my life will be better when this is all over, but breaking up is just so hard to do. I can't turn off my emotions and when we do hang out, I can't even have a bittersweet time. I just get jealous and start crying and being pathetic. Breaking up is so hard ILF. I just wish it was over already.

serious At least it sounds like she spends time away from you. In my experience, it's best to do your utmost to cut as much contact as possible at first. If you still want to be friends, that's great, but you'll most likely need a period where you don't see or talk to her so that you can heal yourself. I'd find a way to see her less while she's still living with you if that's possible.



My arm hurts. I think I have some tendonitis flaring up in my right elbow. I think the best thing to do, until I can find a doctor, is to lay off of anything that might aggravate it. So that means no drawing/painting, no playing guitar, and possibly no exercise. So I can't do any of the things I love. On top of that my girlfriend is so busy with school and work that she has hardly any time to see me. If anything, I feel like a pet cat or dog that gets a treat and a pat on the head for being good from time to time. I really want to give it a month or so to see if she's just stressed recently, or if it's going to be an enduring trend. IF it's the latter, I'm afraid that my relationship is going to end.

I'm listening to the warnings in my head next time I'm not sure about starting to date someone.

Thanks for the brojo homie!

That really sucks with the tendonitis though, I sometimes think about where my life would be if I broke (or lost use of) an arm/hand or leg. I would not be able to do any of the things I love, probably wouldn't be able to work, and would probably go insane. If things wind up going south, you know we're all here for you

On my shit - thanks for the kind words and suggestions guys. Today is the first day I actually opened up and asked for help (from you guys and one of my best long-distance friends) and I feel like I have a new lease on life. I'm realizing all of the things that I will be able to do when I'm my own person. I'm not 100% there yet, obviously, but I'm way fucking closer than I was yesterday.



Back on the irritation note, my Mini isn't here from Norway yet and another package I was waiting for somehow left town (it was literally within miles of my home) and wound up on the other side of the country. Oh USPS, when will you learn

I still want to die, sometimes. Not from pain or suffering, just from being tired of life. I'm in the same exact place I was 4 months ago, but with less money and less hope. I don't see the point, sometimes. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of being broke. I'm tired of being sad. It feels like I will never be able to dig out of this hole. I mean, I ended up here because I had a job, house, car, and wife that weren't satisfying me, now I have none of those things and I am still unsatisfied. I don't have friends. I don't have skills. I don't have anything to offer.

You always have something to offer

Look at it this way, your energy was placed into those things you listed, but now since it's not, you can place it somewhere else. One of my favorite human beings, Alejandro Jodorowsky, phrased it this way, "To lose is not to lose. To lose is to change direction." The reason some things might not be satisfying to you could be because you've told yourself that they are things that satisfy you. There could be so many other, different things that you will love if you find them. Always remember that nothing is permanent, and the shitty times won't last forever if you can release your death grip on them. It's when we cling to things we have no control over that we feel bad. You always, ALWAYS have yourself, and if you can learn to treat yourself like the most important person, you will begin to feel better.

Finally got around to watching Season 5 of Archer, holy fuck that show jumped the shark.
Kind of sucks because Sea Lab and Frisky Dingo are perfect shows.

gunslinger_burrito wrote:You always have something to offer

Look at it this way, your energy was placed into those things you listed, but now since it's not, you can place it somewhere else. One of my favorite human beings, Alejandro Jodorowsky, phrased it this way, "To lose is not to lose. To lose is to change direction." The reason some things might not be satisfying to you could be because you've told yourself that they are things that satisfy you. There could be so many other, different things that you will love if you find them. Always remember that nothing is permanent, and the shitty times won't last forever if you can release your death grip on them. It's when we cling to things we have no control over that we feel bad. You always, ALWAYS have yourself, and if you can learn to treat yourself like the most important person, you will begin to feel better.

:hug:

Thank you.