ilovefuzz.com

Hope shit works out for all of you. Sorry about the breakup Inconuucl, that sucks. I won't ever claim to be any kind of breakup expert, but give yourself time and space away from her for as long as you need. Some couples try to uphold some contact afterwards, maybe cause they are used to talking to eachother, but to feel better more quickly I would advise against it. Not sure if that is relevant in your case, though. It's just my only advice I know I can give kind of.. Hope you get better soon though.

And I'll chime in with the rest that long distance sucks. Especially when it seems like it's kinda doomed never to work, which it does right now for me. But I guess I should never say never

Brandsmannen wrote:And I'll chime in with the rest that long distance sucks. Especially when it seems like it's kinda doomed never to work, which it does right now for me. But I guess I should never say never

As someone who has habitually moved every six months or so for a long time and had every single relationship get smashed on the rocks because of it, this is the right attitude to have.

psychic vampire. wrote:I too had the worst breakup in my life around that age (22). I spent a whole summer only leaving my room to get groceries from the 24 hour grocery store, and all day I listened to Cold Cave and Converge and felt miserable (and not bc of the music). Granted, afterward I started sucking dick and taking estrogen, so my life path may not be the most relevant, but the general idea sticks.

This was a very nice post but I fucking lol'd at the last sentence.

Anything to get the kids considering a life on the gay fringes

But the sentiment is real. There is something different from one's first big multi-year relationship breakup to subsequent ones. Not to say that the following breakups did not kill me; they just hurt differently. It became easier to conceptualize my life without a person after I had already been forced to do it a first time. I hit a real rock bottom and coming out of that forced me to realize that the only acceptable path (to me) was to work on myself.

I don't do relationships. I don't do sex. I don't do life. This whole discussion is foreign to me, but good luck to you all.

frodog wrote:I don't do relationships. I don't do sex. I don't do life. This whole discussion is foreign to me, but good luck to you all.

Precisely. Although I know you have some novel ideas about existence as well, so hey... we can't all be on the same plane.

Well I mean the most we can hope for is that we are all actively trying to have a good time and, whenever possible, help as many other people have a good time too, right?

Man on these notes, I seriously don't get how to talk to females about this shit at all. At 24 it feels slightly pathetic that I'm really still this bad at it all. Valentine's day just amplifies these shitty feelings.

D.o.S. wrote:Well I mean the most we can hope for is that we are all actively trying to have a good time and, whenever possible, help as many other people have a good time too, right?

Definitely a more than solid MO, I'd say

Strange Tales wrote:Man on these notes, I seriously don't get how to talk to females about this shit at all. At 24 it feels slightly pathetic that I'm really still this bad at it all. Valentine's day just amplifies these shitty feelings.

They're just like dudes without the dicks, dude.

In other words, if you think of people as people and (on a direct level) persons as persons, rather than reducing them to an orifice number or what sort of fun bits they've got, relating with them on the (w)hole becomes much easier. IME, IMO, YMMV, try the veal, etc.

Also, Valentine's Day sucks. I hate the feeling that I'm having to share my "special evening" with all the other schmucks who haven't been good significant others and are making up for it on this one day.

There are 364 other days you can do something awesome for your lady or dude, and it feels a lot more unique and meaningful IMO. I also suggest doing something nice on several of those other days.

To reinforce the notion that better situations will and do come along, I am going to see At the Gates on V-Day, and my girlfriend's a-ok with it... because she's the best. And because our anniversary is on the 17th.

don't even get me started on fucking Valentines' Day.

I dunno, at this point I've basically given up. I never meet anyone except for my friends' girlfriends, and they're all (both) from other countries. I have fun at band practice, that's about it. Got a handful of close friends. Other than that I'm a borderline hikikomori with cats.

I guess I should clarify that I live in a small and very uncool town full of sporty squares and people whose idea of fun is riding around town in a Volvo adorned with confederate flags, blasting country music.

Scared to even talk to a local girl, in case she is in one of those categories.

D.o.S. wrote:

Strange Tales wrote:Man on these notes, I seriously don't get how to talk to females about this shit at all. At 24 it feels slightly pathetic that I'm really still this bad at it all. Valentine's day just amplifies these shitty feelings.

They're just like dudes without the dicks, dude.

In other words, if you think of people as people and (on a direct level) persons as persons, rather than reducing them to an orifice number or what sort of fun bits they've got, relating with them on the (w)hole becomes much easier. IME, IMO, YMMV, try the veal, etc.

Well that means I just have to get over the normal massive anxiety I have then. I haven't met another human outside of work since I graduated college two years ago.

I mean you're talking to someone who works from home and basically only leaves his house for shows, so while I can relate I might not be the best fountain of advice.