ilovefuzz.com

You won a bunch of gift cards through work!

Oh wait - that's taxable income and we're taking a chunk out of your paycheck.

vallaton wrote: i guess i'm getting out of the water at least, because i just bought a bitquest and am saving money to get the new drone commander at some point.

Drone Commander is rad. And don't get me wrong, I wasn't suggesting consumerism will replace bad feelings. Just that once in awhile a new fun toy is a good distraction at the very least.

codetocontra wrote:

vallaton wrote: i guess i'm getting out of the water at least, because i just bought a bitquest and am saving money to get the new drone commander at some point.

Drone Commander is rad. And don't get me wrong, I wasn't suggesting consumerism will replace bad feelings. Just that once in awhile a new fun toy is a good distraction at the very least.

yeah, didn't think that that was what you were saying, haha. just that i've always loved getting new toys, but like when shit is real bad i can't enjoy anything or get interested in anything or distract myself from the bad stuff. so that now that i'm interested in noisy boxes again, it probably means that i'm headed for a better direction.

Someone take this heart of mine and hide it far, far away from me. I can't protect it. I can't handle it. Hope kills.

I'm empty.

chuckjaywalk wrote:Someone take this heart of mine and hide it far, far away from me. I can't protect it. I can't handle it. Hope kills.

I know the feeling, I went through it all the time when I was younger. But believe me, things will get better eventually. Time is a great healer, and losing your love really just means you have a new love waiting to be discovered.

chuckjaywalk wrote:I'm empty.

Hang in there.

I hate to say it, but there are no easy solutions to any of these problems. This is just the nature of life; the only silver-bullet solutions are in werewolf movies. IRL, all you can do is keep wrestling with your demons, get help if you need it, try to do what's right, love the people around you, and have some fun when you can. Helping others can do a lot for your sense of self-worth, too, so do what you can to help other people.

I have similar problems - depression, anxiety, and OCD. I went through therapy years ago, but the doctor just wanted to treat the depression. None of the meds worked, so I gave up on all of them. Lifestyle changes helped, but I know the problems will never go away completely. The best I hope for is to mitigate them enough to remain functional. I just try to accept that this is who I am, and if I was really as bad as I think I am, somebody would have probably buried me in a ditch a long time ago. So I try to rationalize away the irrationalities, and set new goals to keep moving forward.

What I'm really trying to say is "Hang in there, try not to get too down, and do the best you can."

I have literally been crying for 24 hours. I don't know what I am supposed to do. Is this all there is?

chuckjaywalk wrote:I have literally been crying for 24 hours. I don't know what I am supposed to do. Is this all there is?

been there so many times. it sucks.
the three ways i know how to deal with existential crisis are
1) to have faith or hope that despite the feeling that all seem meaningless, it is just an illusion that comes from our limited understanding of our place in the world.
2) or to understand that there is no other meaning than that which we decide to have. to take our meaningless part in life and make it mean something.
3) or to face the absurd meaninglessness that is life and live despite the fact that there is nothing more. not to try and live in the future but to make most of the present.

these probably won't help you here, as they are just words on the screen, but maybe you'll have moments where your feelings resonate with some of them. i hope the desperation eases at some point.

Also, try to think of times when you were feeling good. Use them as proof for yourself that there is more to life than what you're currently going through. There will be better times again, just hang in there.

chuckjaywalk wrote:I have literally been crying for 24 hours. I don't know what I am supposed to do. Is this all there is?

Chuck — the forum is always here for you, but there’s only so much we can really do. It’s time to reach out and get some dedicated help.

Today can be the start of a new chapter.

spacelordmother wrote:

chuckjaywalk wrote:I have literally been crying for 24 hours. I don't know what I am supposed to do. Is this all there is?

Chuck — the forum is always here for you, but there’s only so much we can really do. It’s time to reach out and get some dedicated help.

Today can be the start of a new chapter.

This, first and foremost. You can do it, Chuck.

vallaton wrote:

chuckjaywalk wrote:I have literally been crying for 24 hours. I don't know what I am supposed to do. Is this all there is?

been there so many times. it sucks.
the three ways i know how to deal with existential crisis are
1) to have faith or hope that despite the feeling that all seem meaningless, it is just an illusion that comes from our limited understanding of our place in the world.
2) or to understand that there is no other meaning than that which we decide to have. to take our meaningless part in life and make it mean something.
3) or to face the absurd meaninglessness that is life and live despite the fact that there is nothing more. not to try and live in the future but to make most of the present.

these probably won't help you here, as they are just words on the screen, but maybe you'll have moments where your feelings resonate with some of them. i hope the desperation eases at some point.

I definitely think 2) is the answer. You have to do things that give your life meaning.

actualidiot wrote:Also, try to think of times when you were feeling good. Use them as proof for yourself that there is more to life than what you're currently going through. There will be better times again, just hang in there.

This is really good advice too. You had good times in the past, you can have good times again. You just have to push through your current troubles.

Lurker13 wrote:

vallaton wrote:

chuckjaywalk wrote:I have literally been crying for 24 hours. I don't know what I am supposed to do. Is this all there is?

been there so many times. it sucks.
the three ways i know how to deal with existential crisis are
1) to have faith or hope that despite the feeling that all seem meaningless, it is just an illusion that comes from our limited understanding of our place in the world.
2) or to understand that there is no other meaning than that which we decide to have. to take our meaningless part in life and make it mean something.
3) or to face the absurd meaninglessness that is life and live despite the fact that there is nothing more. not to try and live in the future but to make most of the present.

these probably won't help you here, as they are just words on the screen, but maybe you'll have moments where your feelings resonate with some of them. i hope the desperation eases at some point.

I definitely think 2) is the answer. You have to do things that give your life meaning.

the right answer is the one that gets you through it. for me, it's been a different one or several of the ones i listed, at different times. and for sure there's more ways to face the vast darkness, and some of them are hard to put into words, but these are the ones that i feel have helped me the most.

and yeah. getting (professional) help is really important. everyone should get help, but unfortunately it's harder for some to get or ask for it. and it might be a hard, long road full of doubt and despair even if you get on it.

vallaton wrote:the right answer is the one that gets you through it.

You're right, I was being subjective. YMMV

I spent my youth around people who said things like "God has a plan for all of us" and "Things happen, but they happen for a reason". So I kept looking and looking for the plan and the reasons, but never found them, and that led to feelings of frustration and despair. The best advice I ever received was to stop looking for these things and just do things to give my life meaning. My life is still difficult, but it's better than before. And since that advice helped me, I hope it can help others. But it's certainly not the only way to approach the issue.