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Re: Stump Lord Galvar

Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2016 8:32 pm
by SoaringTortoise
That's not a dude, it's a mannequin. How about a story about mannequins that doesn't involve Alice Cooper.

Re: Stump Lord Galvar

Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2016 12:03 am
by lordgalvar
resincum wrote:LORD GALVAR!!!! why do I keep getting Forbidden pages when trying to post in the set up of the day thread
Permissions, man. Probably something to do with whatever database (SQL, etc) that this forum uses and writing to the sever via whatever software it uses (Apache, whatever, I don't know). :idk:

Reminds me of when one of my old friends in high school wrote a Java app to run the subspace game through the open port 80 at our school so we could play online during our elective computer tech thing *. We found lots of interesting files in our shared drive sweeps. Whoever was using the high school computers to download ICP inspired softcore is probably in prison now...just can't be a good way to go into adulthood.

* Well, my friends did. I mostly watched the as400 and the tech dude re-solder and rebuild a computer monitor as an excuse to be anti social....the labor, even in the 90s, was probably way, way more than just buying a new one. Pretty neat though.
SoaringTortoise wrote:That's not a dude, it's a mannequin. How about a story about mannequins that doesn't involve Alice Cooper.
I moved a GAP Inc store to a smaller location with increased sales and volume (due to the increased pressure of Caruso, Inc). Well, I was in charge because I was the stock lead troll (damn good at it too not that it was anything difficult). We had enough mannequins to fill a giant store and I had to hide them with no storage.

I tetrised those creepy, headless things into a cleaning closet (a big one though...but about 4' wide empty). I made a Castlevania: SOTN Legion in a freaking closet. Then corporate calls: get that one prop/picture frame whatever for display. Damnit, Legion protects that. I got a ladder and catwalked the shelves like way up in the sky to bypass my monstrosity. I hopped down and got the frame and tossed it over. I crept back to the entrance after climbing the particle board and slipped on the ladder coming down. I fell flat on my back and just laid there. I was fine. It was loud too but no one came. The cleaning contractor came to me and whispered "you ok?" hours later.

I think that corporate sent the message to off me.......but that's another thing haha. Don't catch a multinational stealing from itself!

Mundane stories, sorry..

Sorry, no Kim Cattrell tales.

I hope you all read these with a bit of a true California-by-way of-Southern Arkansas accent with lots of "umms" and awkward pauses. Adds that extra layer of meaning. Every story ends with a thumbs up haha.

Re: Stump Lord Galvar

Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2016 8:26 am
by Strange Tales
ICP softcore, Symphony of the Night name drop.

Best poster.

Re: Stump Lord Galvar

Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2016 8:29 am
by Invisible Man
:!!!:

Re: Stump Lord Galvar

Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2016 9:02 am
by Iommic Pope
This is the best thread.

Re: Stump Lord Galvar

Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2016 10:13 am
by Chankgeez
LG, why are you havin' your coyote minions tryin' to eat people?

http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-m ... story.html

Re: Stump Lord Galvar

Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2016 2:40 pm
by lordgalvar
Maybe they are sick of the dim sum?

When I was nine, I chose to run along side the Merced River, away from Housekeeping Camp*. The wind pushed against my face as I split a path of water and pine toward the horizon. I glanced back at the Merced camp bridge and picked up speed so I could pass through the weight of human entrenchment.

Spirit, nature, and unity overwhelmed my senses in a very Wordsworth-ian, youthful moment. The speed and force differential between my dart forward and river current back tore open a dimension of animal spirit.

I looked down and to the right toward the Merced. Out of my periphery, a grey/brown mass was in pursuit. Within the infinitely long milliseconds of recognizing the coyote, it was at my side in my sprint. Without any thought or hesitation, I flopped at full speed and slid bouncing down the gravel bank of the Merced. The coyote picked up speed until the horizon took it back.

I rolled over to look at my bank rash as my heart pounded. In the distance, I heard my mom laugh (probably over s'mores and campfire). I was back.

Sublime sticker-shock :idk: :whateva: :facepalm:

Haha. Ummm....anything is a story. :idk:

*Yosemite

Crazy about those coyotes. We've just got raccoon s and opossum s over here. And all the usual pests. Alligator lizards!

Really interesting stuff!

I'm still sad about the crows dying off.

Re: Stump Lord Galvar

Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2016 2:52 pm
by aedes
Remember the Nature Company? Whatever happened to that place?

Re: Stump Lord Galvar

Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2016 3:03 pm
by lordgalvar
Yup, and I remember them getting bought by the discovery channel. I don't know if we got one of the half-assed ones like Bakersfield always did with retail (which was cool as a kid getting to grow up in local business land...but Bakersfield is different now).

My dad and I always used to go in there to flip over all the rain sticks at once and laugh at those gel filled plastic bags that pop out of your hand with sea-themed-sequins inside*. But The Nature Company also provided a lot of America with didgeridoos....so that is a plus. I seem to remember that after discovery bought it, it slowly turned into a playskool brookstone.

* You know, if you put them on eBay for $20 more listed as something else, it is called adult business. Back then, I was innocent of all that and my dad was too. They just always had those and it seemed so freaking pointless to us haha.

We need other people's stories.!


Edit: typos

Re: Stump Lord Galvar

Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2016 3:13 pm
by Chankgeez
lordgalvar wrote:Maybe they are sick of the dim sum?
:lol: Great. Now I'm picturing werecoyotes speaking fluent Cantonese casually strolling into dim sum joints. :cool:

Re: Stump Lord Galvar

Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2016 3:14 pm
by rustywire
lordgalvar wrote:adult business
New band name :snax:

Re: Stump Lord Galvar

Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2016 4:28 pm
by goroth
This thread is starting to feel like the big lebowski - I'm enjoying the shit out of all the sub stories but can't shake the feeling that it either has some deeper meaning I can't grasp, or no meaning whatsoever, or both simultaneously.

Re: Stump Lord Galvar

Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2016 4:29 pm
by D.o.S.
which is worse: a quiet band that plays too loudly or a loud band that plays too quietly?

Re: Stump Lord Galvar

Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2016 5:24 pm
by lordgalvar
goroth wrote:This thread is starting to feel like the big lebowski - I'm enjoying the shit out of all the sub stories but can't shake the feeling that it either has some deeper meaning I can't grasp, or no meaning whatsoever, or both simultaneously.
I guess that's the way the whole durned human comedy keeps perpetuatin' itself.
D.o.S. wrote:which is worse: a quiet band that plays too loudly or a loud band that plays too quietly?
I've cut a lawn with scissors and with a power mower. Each has their benefits. It can all look good in the end, but the venue really makes it work.

Re: Stump Lord Galvar

Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2016 10:16 pm
by aedes
lordgalvar wrote:Yup, and I remember them getting bought by the discovery channel. I don't know if we got one of the half-assed ones like Bakersfield always did with retail (which was cool as a kid getting to grow up in local business land...but Bakersfield is different now).

My dad and I always used to go in there to flip over all the rain sticks at once and laugh at those gel filled plastic bags that pop out of your hand with sea-themed-sequins inside*. But The Nature Company also provided a lot of America with didgeridoos....so that is a plus. I seem to remember that after discovery bought it, it slowly turned into a playskool brookstone.

* You know, if you put them on eBay for $20 more listed as something else, it is called adult business. Back then, I was innocent of all that and my dad was too. They just always had those and it seemed so freaking pointless to us haha.

We need other people's stories.!


Edit: typos
Oh yeah, I remember that now. They just seemed to disappear.

I actually worked at one as seasonal help after college. The only things I really remember was hiding the corner near the gems during the christmas rush, trying to avoid the customers, and sweating under the hot display lights. Oh, and the assistant manager claimed that he used to date Stevie Nicks. He said he had pictures, but strangely nobody ever saw them.