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Let's say someone is feeling broken and numb and empty and meaningless. Since material possessions are the only true happiness we misbegotten pig-monkeys will ever know, what kind of pedal should someone buy when they just want to feel something? I'm not talking about tone or quality but rather sheer Kaufvergnügen.

Which stage do you find the most rewarding: the moment of purchase, the moment of delivery, the unboxing, or the first stomp? Can someone who is good at graphs chart a comprehensive list of pedals and concurrent dopamine levels at these stages of purchase? Which pedal hits multiple peaks? Is it a $22 Metal Zone? Please say so.

Yeah, probably $22 Metal Zone or maybe something from this guy: @capitalistdeathcult

I know this isn't the answer you were looking for but I feel like its got to be some sort of phaser. Unsure of price range new or vintage or anything like that, but definitely a phaser, just listen to a thing sweep up and down until hopefully doze off later

The most rewarding stage is getting a SOLD confirmation on anything you're trying to unload, which is only right above OFFER ACCEPTED, which works both ways

All gear can be a dopamine goldmine, as long as you build it up enough and sustain that lust for a long enough amount of time, no matter what the price.

Of course, the crushing reality that surrounds the comedown of said rush can be bottomless (hey, it's summertime), but that's what the other $22 you have in your shoe is for (maybe also a snowcone).

chromandre wrote:I know this isn't the answer you were looking for but I feel like its got to be some sort of phaser.

It sure is!

I feel like the happiness that comes from shopping and planning imaginary setups for the thing is more satisfying than owning the thing. In those dreams of owning the thing you become a better musician, a famous musician, and a better person overall. Owning things is for plebs, planning an infinite number of rigs and never buying any of the gear is where it’s at.




Other options include purchasing a pedal kit and never assembling it.

A pedal that gives you the feeling that a slightly plump person wearing leather underwear and carrying a quirt showing up at your door does would be pretty cool, though.

Sometimes, my dope gets mined from the ownership of THE secret weapon, end-all fuzz and NOT using it. I have IT, but don't have to use IT. Sometimes, I get off on this fact while simultaneously trying to make a less helpful fuzz do IT.

sutarappa wrote:Sometimes, my dope gets mined from the ownership of THE secret weapon, end-all fuzz and NOT using it. I have IT, but don't have to use IT. Sometimes, I get off on this fact while simultaneously trying to make a less helpful fuzz do IT.

This is really good advice. Like, constantly switch between The Elements and Boneshaker instead of buying new dirt.

The most expensive pedal you can afford=best feels

#rip. It’s just awesome.

Buy something from Laowiz.

1) The finishes just make you happy
2) He is kinda random, so you never know if something is going to be available. So you might have to turn it into some sort of unreasonable white whale purchase
3) They sound sick. Everything he touches brings the sickness.

All of the above will make you more happy.

Worry.

My friend, Jimmy Ray, he came from the trailer park, but man was he cool. He was into The Smiths, but he weren't no tinkerbell. He gave himself a tattoo at the age of 14. When he was 19 and I was 12, he took me to my first record swap meet. I wanted the JAMC's Psychocandy, cuz it seemed cool. My stepdad had taken all my money, so when no one was looking, J.R. swiped it for me. Somewhere around the age of 22, he got booted from one of the armed services. Depressed and bouncing from couch-to-couch, he knocked up Easy Alice. Terrified about becoming a dad, he soon replaced Mary Jane with crack. Jimmy was squeezed from all sides. I knew the baby needed diapers, and of course my old mate could always use extra greenbacks for ghetto pharmaceuticals. Every time I needed a new toy and had extra scratch from cashing in on stolen copper, I'd call him up to make a miserably low offer for some treasure. "Hey Jimmy, how about $40 for your Memory Man? How about $50 for your Space Echo? How's about $25 for the Supa Tonebender?" --The pedals you get from harvesting the ashes of other people's crumbling lives, those are the best pedals.

I had my first visit to the psychologist earlier this summer and I called my mate and asked if he wanted to jam and write music, and it definitely was the best available music/gear-related thing available to me. I have previously also gotten a few beers in me and recorded songs with the absolute lowest level of production value ever and that felt pretty nice.

Also i just bought three tape/reel-to-reel thingies and that has me very hype to play guitar through