Dad Dick 2999 here AMA

[Invisible Man]

Favourite novel?
Invisible Man (Ralph Ellison)

Favourite poem?
Hmmm...poetry's never appealed, but I do love e e Cummings. And Lewis Carroll's Jabberwocky.

Favourite literary theorist?
I never read theory or criticism for fun, but a lot of Frankfurt School stuff is a decent read. Other than that, I love Gramsci, Barabara Foley, Dick Hebdige...lots of ordinary language Cultural Studies folks. And oh shit Ernst Bloch is wonderful but you have to be crazy to really commit to getting through his stuff.

How big is a big dad dick?
Add 11% for first child , 9% for second, 8% for third, &c. Average erect size is 5.1". Scale it up or down depending on relative size of the dad, I guess.

So a 5'9" (average) male has a baby; grows from 5.1" to 5.6". Second baby puts him at 6.17". Third at 6.66", at which point he stops with the babies because his dick is now Satan.

MATH

[odontophobia]

What's eleven percent of a penis the shape and size of a baby portabella mushroom?

Asking for a friend.

Favorite novel: Kurt Vonnegut's The Slaughterhouse-Five will forever rank up there. There's always a special place in my heart for Camus' The Plague (The Stranger seems more of a Novella) and for Murakami's The Wind-Up Bird Chronicles.

Favorite Poem: Stevie Smith's "Not Waving But Drowning" is up there.

Literary Theorist: Maurice Blanchot was my favorite in undergrad -- 6 years ago.

[Invisible Man]

For penisbella crotchshrooms,the 11% applies to the spread of the head.

And yeah Slaughterhouse was huge for me, too.

[odontophobia]

For penisbells crotchshrooms,the 11% applies to the spread of the head.

And yeah Slaughterhouse was huge for me, too.

At this stage SHV gets more credit due to its impact on my life over it being my subjective favorite.

[popvulture]

I feel like there's a potential RHCP lyric with "big dad dick" out there somewhere.

[JonnyAngle]

I feel like there's a potential RHCP lyric with "big dad dick" out there somewhere.

Big dad dick in califor- ni - aye
Looking for the girlies with the high school swag

[Invisible Man]

Not gonna defend my past pedophil-i-a
With those muthafuckin girls of Californ-i-a
Up my butt with a big black stick
I said 'what's up?' I've got dad dick

*More than half of these are real lyrics to RHCP songs.

[Invisible Man]

I guess this band is nearly parody-proof, Weird Al's Bedrock Anthem notwithstanding.

[popvulture]

I'm really glad you incorporated the jammin my butt with a big stick line.

Never 4get. http://www.rhcp2014.com

[Invisible Man]

'Like a ram getting ready to jam the lamb'

[ProCarsteNation]

http://www.rhcp2014.com

You're saying this is NOT a parody?

[popvulture]

http://www.rhcp2014.com

You're saying this is NOT a parody?

Haha no that is one of the best parodies I've ever heard...

[actual]

Up to my ass in alligators
Let's get it on with the alligator haters
Rubadub girls want Hollywood players
But dad dick's solely for those with no majors


ehrm

[snipelfritz]

Wait. So having babies makes your dick grow? Or the number of babies raises the standard of "big" for that dad dick?

Either way, how do you think this applies to MSUsousaphone?

[JonnyAngle]

Wait. So having babies makes your dick grow? Or the number of babies raises the standard of "big" for that dad dick?

Either way, how do you think this applies to MSUsousaphone?

Msousaphone is basically a walking cockandballs