ILF SECRET SANTA 2018: SIGNING UP CLOSED

[eternaldamnationinc]

Hahaha, yep, the "real" gift was/is too ambitious to meet deadline, and I needed to hit the deadline this year (it's my first time, I think) - so there are some aspects that are waiting out the next box as this one was a touch rushed - it may be some while, for which I apologize in advance. Anyway, it's exciting (so it'll take longer, sorry), thanks for the inspiration...

...

I swear, seeing these things out in the wild almost makes me happier than getting the heap of cool stuff of my own, but Satan kicked serious ass so it's a hard call to make.. HAPPY NEW YEAR

WHEW! Almost a week later and I'm STILL CATCHING UP (after some post-xmas family travel). SUUUUUUUUUUUPER stoked to see whatever this mystery thing turns out to be whenever it shows up... my kid LOVED the fruit rollups, and I brought the dark chocolate bar in to work today... my first day back, so I needed some extra fortification, if you know what I mean. Hoping that all of the remaining presents find their victims soon, and that DoS loves the 37 Death Metals that are in that box waiting for him at customs... (I mean, not that I know. Just guessing).

[D.o.S.]

Sweet mother of borkgnar.

Photos incoming.

Sorry for the delay I've legitimately spent the last five hours rebuilding my board and riffing.



But before I went to riff city that I made breakfast burritos with the hot sauce pictured, and it's super delicious. I do not know if my satan knows that I used to live in Vermont, but I was absolutely stoked on all of it.

The 2HP is the vowel, by the way.

No video but holy shit dude this is the best. LOOK AT THAT DEATH METAL. LOOK AT IT.

I feel tremendously stalked.

[coldbrightsunlight]

So good!!!!

[drolo]

pocket miku !!

[oldangelmidnight]

They even got you something for your slightly irregular feet!

[odontophobia]

I love darn tough socks.
Not cheap but worth it.

Nice haul D.o.S.

[coupleonapkins]

[doommeow]

Goddamn, these Norway bros know how to give a gift.

Elvind was my Satan the first year I did ILFSS and according to Mrs Doommeow, he’s set the standard. Gifts for the cats, check; gifts for the Mrs, double check. (I love how I don’t rate in this equation). He managed to somehow find a piece of kitchen equipment that was not only local to him, but was the one thing that my wife actually needed. Every ILFSSmas since, the box from Satan comes and Mrs Doommeow, wonderful magical princess that she is, “Is there anything for me?”

The spirits of hell aligned and this year I was blessed/damned with the debonair UglyCasanova as my Satan. Mrs sees that Norway return addy and gets all excite. She’s/We’s all about the Scandinav right about now - pulling out the candles and furs and having me keep the wood stove going all day for the extra Hygge, me spinning the Fortitude season 3 sndtrck, and her still honeymooning with the new Volvo. Getting UC as my/our/her Satan rang the bell even harder.

I’m not classy enough for the video reveal, but I might drop a clip of the cats playing with their gifts and mrs doommeow extolling UCs taste in chocolate.

Seriously, for someone that is the definition of a humbug grinch type, I scored. (Really, ILFSS is my fav time of year.) Before I even had the box entirely unpacked, the cats had already scouted out their goodies. They look like fairly standard silly knitted cat toys, but instead of catnip they’ve been saturated with some sort of cheese funk?! Dunno. But the cats went bonkers and I need to figure out how/where to acquire more.

Mrs doommeow copped two fancy ass chocolate bars that she hadn’t seen before and with which she was immediately impressed and in love. I think she dug into one immediately, the other went into an emergency stash.

Gifts for everyone - Alison Bechdel’s Fun Home. Absolutely perfect choice. Despite knowing the provienence of the Bechdel test, I’ve never read any of her work and haven’t been reading anything comics based for years. Perfect choice for us relatively new Vermonters, and something the wife might even pick up as well.

I don’t know what a deathcrush is, but the art looks like New Mutants era Bill Sienkiewicz, that’s good enough for me.

But they coup de fucking grass - some winter ice cream! The Iskrem Electro CatODyne is such a ridiculously awesome gift. I got to play an orange amp this summer, loved it, loved it so much I bought the guitar I was playing at the time only to realize it was the sound of the amp that made my socks roll up and down. Thankfully I sold the guitar and got my money back, but was still missing that sound. That being dropped from a great height and landing face first on a black lava beach sound. So far I’ve only played it with my ‘60 Olympic through a SF Champ - even with this lightweight rig, the output has so much fucking mass. It’s like being punched by a black hole. Phenomenal. This is going to kill through the power section of my Laney and proper cab. And it has CAT in the name!!!

I know I ramble, but I remain overfuckingjoyed every time I see the cats batting around their new mice or when I think about the next time I’m going to get pummeled with the Iskrem. Legit contentment, the real deal. It’s been a difficult couple of weeks in real life, but seeing my IlFSS gifts under the tree is always a treat.

Thanks UC. You are indeed the man. Merry merry happy happy Satan Satan!!

[Chankgeez]

[UglyCasanova]

That rundown put the biggest smile on my face! I'm just happy it made it to you alright. Sending a pedal with tubes got me real worried.

Deathcrush is a rad band Eivind and I had a show with the second time we played live, ever. Actually, it was 2/3rd of Deathcrush doing their side noise project, Oilskin. Anyways, they were really sweet to us, especially Linn, who did the live mixing for us. She was awesome. I don't think we've ever had better live sound. Kids, it pays off when you let a noise musician do sound mixing at your noise gig. I hadn't listened to much of the music you said you listened to in the wishlist thread, but Eivind said he thought you'd like it, so I hope you check them out and rock that t-shirt knowing that you're supporting some cool peeps. I didn't get you a physical album as you said you mostly listened to stuff online anyways, haha!

https://deathcrush.bandcamp.com/music

You were really fun to stalk, BTW! Gotta let me know if that Turkish inspired hot sauce is any good because I kind of wanted to get one for myself but ran out of funds pre-xmas. It achieved local fame at a pizza place here and they started producing it for people who don't have the privilege of living in Oslo.

[doommeow]

That rundown put the biggest smile on my face! I'm just happy it made it to you alright. Sending a pedal with tubes got me real worried.

Deathcrush is a rad band Eivind and I had a show with the second time we played live, ever. Actually, it was 2/3rd of Deathcrush doing their side noise project, Oilskin. Anyways, they were really sweet to us, especially Linn, who did the live mixing for us. She was awesome. I don't think we've ever had better live sound. Kids, it pays off when you let a noise musician do sound mixing at your noise gig. I hadn't listened to much of the music you said you listened to in the wishlist thread, but Eivind said he thought you'd like it, so I hope you check them out and rock that t-shirt knowing that you're supporting some cool peeps. I didn't get you a physical album as you said you mostly listened to stuff online anyways, haha!

https://deathcrush.bandcamp.com/music

You were really fun to stalk, BTW! Gotta let me know if that Turkish inspired hot sauce is any good because I kind of wanted to get one for myself but ran out of funds pre-xmas. It achieved local fame at a pizza place here and they started producing it for people who don't have the privilege of living in Oslo.

The hot sauce is another perfect serendipitous choice - we've got ties to Istanbul. Flavor-wise, I still haven't wrapped my head around it. It's spicy - but more about depth of flavor than blast of heat. The paprika and cumin(?!) overpower the peppers that you know are there in the background. I'm thinking it'll make a good marinade and/or dipping sauce when I pull some lamb or venison out of the freezer and on to the grill.

From what I've heard so far, bet Deathcrush is a lot of fun live. Wore the shirt today!

[drolo]

Cometh gath'r 'round mine own lief cater-cousins, for i am going to bid thee a st'ry !
'tis the st'ry of the fusty prince and his myst'rious boxeth of gifts

on a bright but bitter cold january m'rning the fusty prince hath heard the h'rse riding messeng'r ringeth the bells of the castle p'rtals
masterless on the flo'r that gent hath found laying this myst'rious trunk


apace that gent hath decided to ope t


and has't a peak inside


once the contents w're unveiled, reveal'd w're this multitude of treasures


the fusty prince hath decided to ope the first of the presents
{his precarious imaging device hadst troubleth catching the lines of the quite quaint objecteth f'r the multitude of shiny stars yond dec'rat'd t}


lo and beholdeth, t hath appeared to beest a charm boxeth of sonic enhancements


t hadst been mast'rfully carveth by the fairest elves of the far y'rk lands


only the elves kneweth yond the most wondrous position f'r thy sonic entrances beest at the n'rth of thy boxeth


on to the next endowment


that gent hath found a boxeth of the most exquisite bev'rages of the far lands of the bengal, p'rfect f'r warming his heart on a bitter cold wint'ry night


and that gent hath continued to uncov'r the next off'ring


nay this isn't the prov'rbial crimson submarine as sung by the troubadour cockroaches.
t is a device yond thee bloweth into and sumon the most angelic of tunes of the heavens


off to the next benefaction that gent wenteth


oh seeth these most delicious delicacies to lift up the fusty princes moods in the solitude of his bitter cold abandoneth castle!


and an oth'r one
the prince wast so excit'd yond that gent shak'd and did tremble


this plaited attire wast not just quite quaint but t madeth the prince chuckle until his fusty bones did hurt


oh but this wast not all th're wast


f'r the myst'rious benefact'r hadst known yond the prince did love to studyeth the st'ries of the fusty troubadours of yond'r



Thanketh thee immensely lief Lady Kate of the land of the mancunians!
thee has't been a fair stalk'r, almost creppingly so
f'r thy presents has't did enlighten me and hath brought most wondrous joy!

... oh but t's not all ...


but the st'ry of the three wee naughty caramels i shall bid thee anoth'r timeth mine own lief children ...

[Eivind August]

only the elves kneweth yond the most wondrous position f'r thy sonic entrances beest at the n'rth of thy boxeth

All ILFSS posts shall be written in this style henceforth.

And seeing all this joy is almost making me regret not joining this year.

[odontophobia]

only the elves kneweth yond the most wondrous position f'r thy sonic entrances beest at the n'rth of thy boxeth

All ILFSS posts shall be written in this style henceforth.

And seeing all this joy is almost making me regret not joining this year.

precisely what happened to me last year.
always regret. haha.
this year was a lot of fun.

[oldangelmidnight]

'th

Delightful!