Depression rears it's ugly head again

[dubkitty]

bipolar disorder really needs medication to be dealt with effectively. if you're not on some kind of meds already (forgive me for not remembering) do consider it. but like my last therapist explained to me about antidepressants, "they're not supposed to fix everything, they're supposed to help you cope enough that you have the room to deal with the other stuff." the magic bullet thing is illusory, though i will say that the last couple years' antidepressant has turned me around substantially.

[$harkToootth]

bipolar disorder really needs medication to be dealt with effectively.

From everything I read, and anecdotal evidence, 100%. There's a lot you can do and medication, as you said, not the end all be all, is a big part of it. I have two cousins on Lamotrigine which they find helpful, in tandem with their own regulatory practices.

I'm going to leave this here. I think it's relevant. Wim's wife killed herself and you can tell in other interviews... no matter how many people he helps, he will always carry that sadness. I'm a fan of this method... I just suck at sticking with it. Cold water exposure has been proven to increase Norepinephrine and beta-endorphins.
London Reel's latest interview with Wim Hof (Famous for the Wim Hof Method)
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7eA41OfUVU[/youtube]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7eA41OfUVU

[sears]

I admire you, Jwar, I know that sounds very-special-episodey. You're an entrepreneur. Most entrepreneurs fail a lot. That is in no way saying that you should "get over it." I fear risk. I admire people who take risks. I identify with your story more than I would like to share. You share your story. It makes people feel less alone. You are a community builder.

[codetocontra]

Glad you are doing a little better, Jwar.

Think about your kids. You will always provide much more than just financial assistance for them. You are their #1 male role model. Inherently they will learn how the expect men to behave by your actions. They will also always look at you and your wife as a model to expect in their future partners. They will want you there for all their major milestones like weddings and grandchildren. They will want you there for the little things too, like learning to drive or fixing their broken lawn mower. Your support for them is needed and wanted more than words will ever provide. Know that, and live that.

(I realize that doesn't apply to anyone that doesn't have children. Not saying you don't matter to someone. Just trying to reach Jwar specifically here.)

I know life sucks. You sound a little like me in a way, where a bunch of bullshit piles up. It is easy to ignore just one issue, you cope in one way or another. Then you take a 2nd issue and internalize that too, bury it inside while trying to just move on with life. Next thing you know is that you are carrying a fuckton load and feels impossible to do anything including breathe. It fucking sucks. The only thing to really do is prioritize the issues and handle them one by one. Some are much harder to deal with than others, may require big life changes that are scary at first but most likely will be positive in the end.

There is no magic cocktail of medication that is going to fix you. Especially if you tried it. Prescriptions are a little iffy at best. Aside from a range of side effects it can help some people. But I am skeptical that the entire medical community is built upon recurring customers and "fixing" isn't a goal. These are just my opinions. And I have been taking some medication this year, for the first time ever, but I don't really want to talk about it.

A boring suggestion after reading your long post would be to find a fun part time job that has flexible hours. Just something that would get you on a regular schedule and out of your house. Might help you get away from the too much idle time where thoughts spiral. Plus a little bonus income wouldn't be bad. Just a suggestion.

I admire your self-starting entrepreneurship. Doing acid etching is cool AF but last I knew you were winding that down. Managing rentals isn't easy, but I think maybe you do more than most people do for their rentals. I have said this before, but it is a business arrangement, and it is probably best not to get too personal with your tenants. But I know you do, because that is how you are, heart on your sleeve and all.

You are a good person, Jwar. Don't forget that you have lots of friends here. But it is conditional, if you kill yourself I will think much less of you as a man and a father. That goes for any of you. I will no longer respect someone for taking the easy way out. I can sympathize with the struggles but ultimately we have to find a way to move forward to make tomorrow better than today.

[Jwar]

So, I'd like to update this as I feel like I'm getting into a much, much better head space. That's even despite having an upper respiratory infection for the past month.

My doctor started me on Lithium, super low dosage. 75 mg, which isn't even a therapeutic dose. The thing is, it's working. It's actually fucking working! I haven't had dwelling suicidal thoughts for a few weeks now. Every once and awhile I get pretty down but not like before.

Now, I have to keep my fingers crossed that my liver plays well with this drug. Sigh. That's the biggest pitfall of mood stabilizers. They can raise your enzyme levels. I have ways of lowering them but I have to be careful. I'm extremely relieved though. I can't even describe it really. Reading what I wrote, just a few weeks back, makes me wonder who I even am. Like who is that guy? I don't want him to be around anymore. I'm working towards staying better and talking to people like I need to.


You all have been a great help to me and I truly appreciate your love, compassion and sincerity. Thank you all so much.

[coldbrightsunlight]

I'm so glad you're feeling better and hope it continues! You're doing the right things and trying to get better and you're a great guy.

[$harkToootth]

I'm so glad you're feeling better and hope it continues! You're doing the right things and trying to get better and you're a great guy.

Seconded.

[Heraclitus Akimbo]

Glad you're finding a better headspace.

[codetocontra]

I'm so glad you're feeling better and hope it continues! You're doing the right things and trying to get better and you're a great guy.

Seconded.

Thirded.

[Eivind August]

Fourthed. Rooting for you, you deserve to be happy!

[dubkitty]

this is a way good thing. i've experienced this in the last 2-1/2 years. since i started Cymbalta in conjunction with the Lamotrigine i've been taking for years i've been on a continual ramp-up of my mood, functionality, and ability to be open with other people. isn't it wonderful when the stuff actually starts working? like a cloud of doom burning away in the light of the sun. i'm really happy for you.

[Lurker13]

Fifthed, and suggesting that the motion be projected outward into the universe until the support becomes incomprehensibly astronomical.

And the same for you, dubkitty.

Here is a technique that might help: whenever you have a positive thought, say or think "I accept this thought" and let it dwell in your mind a little; whenever you have a negative thought, say or think "I reject that thought" and let it go.

[Jwar]

I like that! So simple and powerful! That’s going in my tool belt for sure!!

[cosmicevan]

Great success!!! When you get in a mindset of rejecting thoughts, just remember suckiness is temporary. Sometimes it lasts a day sometimes a LOT longer, but it's only temporary. Just like in music...immediately next to every sour note is one that rings w the chord. Gonna hit some blusey notes, they make the resolution that much sweeter. Enjoy amd stay smiling!!!

[$harkToootth]

Happy New Year Jwar and Team! Just checking in. How are you (Jwar), and how is everyone (those who are or have a history of struggling with well-being)? This is about you!!!

I mention this every time but I'm posting it again because you never know who it can help... https://www.wimhofmethod.com/ -> Won't solve all your problems. Won't make you magic. It will help though.
A source that will take you to a better credible source
OR..


Also... dissociative drugs for depression. Every teenagers favorite go to legal high could have some benefits (I think I mentioned this a couple posts ago). Here is a source. Or check the image below (Yes, it's an abstract).