The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread...

[kbit]

Not being able to play guitar/bass because of my wrist fucking sucks. I think I have a cyst. Ugh.
& my whole body aches. I hate being sick.

[Achtane]

If yr in front of the computer at work, maybe one of those gel pad rest things would help. Or whatever you gotta do to keep your wrist in line with the rest of your arm.
There's a cyst on the underside of my wrist that I wanna have my friend hit with a book just to watch his reaction. Preferably after a drink or two or three or four.
But he's too scurr'd to do it.

[kbit]

It's actually my left wrist, so no mouse usage there. I don't wanna smack it if it is a cyst, because that could make surgery a huge bitch if it ever got to that point. & if it isn't a cyst it would just hurt

[coldbrightsunlight]

My left wrist hurts for no reason too. It doesn't hurt that badly tbh but it really annoys me having NO idea what I did to make this happen.

[JamesHommersen]

I've been feeling really down on myself lately and feel like purging all of my gear. I've lived with depression all of my life and it sucks. The past school year was the worst for me, going to the hospital because I felt like taking my own life. The only thing that stopped me from doing it was that it's a totally selfish act, I wouldn't want my family and friends to live with that. I'm able to realize when it's getting bad and know not to do anything stupid, like today. Life's hard, university's a bitch, but I have to persevere.

[skullservant]

Hang in there buddy. It always gets better. I was in a similar state of depression my freshman year of college. I can assure you that even if it doesn't look like there is any possible way that things can improve, they will!

[gunslinger_burrito]

Every time I come to this thread with a mild complaint....someone has real problems. So I'll refrain from the nonsense complaint and offer my own "hang in there."

I've been feeling really down on myself lately and feel like purging all of my gear. I've lived with depression all of my life and it sucks. The past school year was the worst for me, going to the hospital because I felt like taking my own life. The only thing that stopped me from doing it was that it's a totally selfish act, I wouldn't want my family and friends to live with that. I'm able to realize when it's getting bad and know not to do anything stupid, like today. Life's hard, university's a bitch, but I have to persevere.

I don't know about your personal life, but the fact that you have a passion for music (thus all the gear, right?) is a good sign. Being creative is the best cure for being down, whether you're using your creativity as a catharsis or to fix the problem somehow. I know there are a lot of us who get down on ourselves because we have musical writer's block or we hate the stuff we're making, but making something just to make something might make you feel better.

Stay strong!

[dubkitty]

at this point the only things that keep me from totally falling into the pit with depression and suicidal ideation are my cat and my dearest friend, both of whom need me here. my kitty is about the sweetest creature i've ever known, and Feather is my oldest friend, is even wacker than i am, and needs me to make HER feel like staying alive.

i've also been working on the East German guitar neck, and that makes me happy because as i go along it looks better and becomes more functional. i can't get myself to play for beans, but working on project stuff at least keeps me from sitting around muttering "god, i fucking don't want to be here any more" to myself.

[controlFreak]

http://zenpencils.com/comic/98-alan-watts-what-if-money-was-no-object/#.UbK08PVLKdg.link

[sonidero]

Leonardo DiCaprio to Be Russian Mystic 'Rasputin' for Warner Bros.

[dubkitty]

now, THERE'S some plausible casting. Rasputin was well over six feet tall--in fact, was noted for his size in multiple areas--and Dwarf Boy is going to play him? it's like hiring Justin Bieber to play Phil Anselmo.

[dubkitty]

or worse yet, Iggy.

[snipelfritz]

I...don't...know...anymore.

On Wednesday, I started out, at 4:30pm, checking out bars for my band to play, then I ran into karaoke, then I got kicked out of that bar (I don't remember why), then I went to another bar, then bar time (2AM), then I bought a percocet (or maybe vicodin) from some homeless guy, then I got in my car (when I knew there was a cop around the corner). I got pulled over immediately. By the grace of whatever, the cop didn't arrest me. A couple vague recollections later, I ended up being taken to the ER via ambulance and clocked in at a BAC of .248.

A bunch of other shit happened (somehow I got a girl's number). But really, I went out alone and just got dangerously fucked up, and all I'm concerned about is my parents finding out about the hospital bill. It's pretty rare that it "flares up" but my bipolar seems to be getting worse, because tbh, I still feel jacked and like doing stupid shit. The night before that happened, I took a bunch of klonopin, drank a bottle of wine (in like an hour) and drove around some backroads like I think I remember (It's all pretty foggy). Tonight I think I had 3 or 4 drinks over 3 hours then drove home, and that was while making a conscious effort not to drink too much.

I'm starting to feel scared, after tomorrow night (I have band practice than DJing a party where I will be drinking, but I have a place to crash) I might need to do something serious (as in check myself in somewhere). Can I get a little encouragement guys? Things were going to so well until now. I think I'm messed up again now.

I kind of want to cry. Especially because I can only be honest about this on the internet and not with anyone IRL.

[sonidero]

[basti moon]

I've been feeling really down on myself lately and feel like purging all of my gear. I've lived with depression all of my life and it sucks. The past school year was the worst for me, going to the hospital because I felt like taking my own life. The only thing that stopped me from doing it was that it's a totally selfish act, I wouldn't want my family and friends to live with that. I'm able to realize when it's getting bad and know not to do anything stupid, like today. Life's hard, university's a bitch, but I have to persevere.

I hope you get better!
And be careful with thinking the only thing stopping you is friends and family as, at least in my case, it can make you have a really strong, lingering anger about not being able to make your own decisions with your own life because of their 'needs'. You're important on your own and deserve to exist on your own merit.

I...don't...know...anymore.
On Wednesday, I started out, at 4:30pm, checking out bars for my band to play, then I ran into karaoke, then I got kicked out of that bar (I don't remember why), then I went to another bar, then bar time (2AM), then I bought a percocet (or maybe vicodin) from some homeless guy, then I got in my car (when I knew there was a cop around the corner). I got pulled over immediately. By the grace of whatever, the cop didn't arrest me. A couple vague recollections later, I ended up being taken to the ER via ambulance and clocked in at a BAC of .248.

A bunch of other shit happened (somehow I got a girl's number). But really, I went out alone and just got dangerously fucked up, and all I'm concerned about is my parents finding out about the hospital bill. It's pretty rare that it "flares up" but my bipolar seems to be getting worse, because tbh, I still feel jacked and like doing stupid shit. The night before that happened, I took a bunch of klonopin, drank a bottle of wine (in like an hour) and drove around some backroads like I think I remember (It's all pretty foggy). Tonight I think I had 3 or 4 drinks over 3 hours then drove home, and that was while making a conscious effort not to drink too much.

I'm starting to feel scared, after tomorrow night (I have band practice than DJing a party where I will be drinking, but I have a place to crash) I might need to do something serious (as in check myself in somewhere). Can I get a little encouragement guys? Things were going to so well until now. I think I'm messed up again now.

I kind of want to cry. Especially because I can only be honest about this on the internet and not with anyone IRL.

I'm not bipolar, but I recognise what you're saying immensely.
I don't know how old you are or what situation you're in, so I'm just guessing early twenties and starting to get somewhere, mentally or physically.
It won't pass completely, without help.
My sister once told me, after getting that same fuckit feeling and doing stupid stuff, that she didn't see someone screwing up all the time, but an artist struggling with artist things.
Sounds pretentious, also true. The more you fight it, the faster the sudden chugging of wine will come on, the more you let yourself do creative things in all forms the less the black dog will come out to bite you. It's not good or bad, it's just the weldsmertz of an artist.
Getting help is great. This is complicated stuff and what I say doesn't make the best sense. People who have helping smarts are great at perspectives like that, getting help doesn't mean dumbing you down or doping you up. If you think you need to check yourself in somewhere, go for it. Otherwise, do something at least, group therapy, go on a soul search in the jungle, marry your muse, don't wait until things are better again and you've forgotten all about it!


It's depression season! Everyone, have some